M: I want that dang necklace SO BAD. And the sweatshirt. But what I need are skinny jeans. My favorite jeans are getting too big. Which yay, I guess, but also boo because jeans shopping.
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A: I have those jeans too and I love them even though they slide down. Where are the magic skinny jeans that stay put?
M: My parameters: must not be stupidly expensive, must have a real waistband because no, must have a dark wash and mid-rise. Go!
A: What in the CRAP with the waist on that second pair.
A: Maybe these:
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M: I was literally JUST looking at those! These have promise, no? And they are such a good price!
A: I would buy those Joes right now if I needed jeans. I do not need jeans.
M: I literally do not have a single pair of skinny jeans that fits properly. I actually have one pair of jeans that fits well, period. The sevens fall down and my old Gap 1969 Real Skinny jeans are baggy in the knees. Did I lose knee fat?
M: ANYWAY, I also really like these but oof. Pricey:
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A: I don't love the whiskering on those. I am all about the plainest jeans I can find.
M: Yeah, me too. Hudson fits me really well, though. Or they used to, before I lost all my knee fat.
A: I have only tried on weird Hudson styles I found at TJ Maxx that nobody else could wear either.
M: Well I should say this is all based on a pair that is at least 6 years old. Good jeans though!
A: I want to buy things but I don't actually have any needs. Wait, I might need this:
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M: That's a need for sure.
A: No, I NEED IT. And this one for work:
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M: I AGREE. LETS NOT FIGHT.
A: I also just want a bunch of things that are cashmere.
M: Yes. I eyed a cashmere throw the other day and wondered if I could pass it off as a scarf?
A: Are cashmere sheets a thing?
M: Well they SHOULD BE. I'm cold.
A: Me too. I'm a shivery poodle.
M: Is it March yet?
How about now?
Now?
A: *quietly weeping*
