Marianne: I ordered six denim shirts *for science* and here's what happened.

A quick back story since this is going to be a long one. I am, as you might know, a tallish female human with big boobs and hips. And because I am a female human, I like to torture myself by wanting things that are hard to find for people with boobs and hips. There are several things on this list, but today we're talking button downs. More specifically, the "perfect" chambray denim shirt. I have bought so many denim shirts that miss the mark in one way or the other--too short, too tight at the hips, not the right weight. So this fall I decided to cast a wider net and order a variety of denim shirts from a variety of stores, including some I have never ordered from (and one I've never even heard of!). Want to join me on this journey? Giddy up.

THE ONE THE INTERNET SAYS IS THE BEST (the internet lies)

This J.Crew denim shirt LOOKS like it's perfect, right? In that way that J.Crew clothes always look perfect because they are on a gorgeous model, or laying flat on a white background, looking perfectly rumpled. I knew this one wouldn't work on me, but I also knew I had to try it for myself. After reading a lot of reviews, I ordered a Tall 14, and here it is on my body:

As you can see, it's tight across the hips, but the arms are weirdly huge. Also the pockets are a little small, which isn't very flattering if you have a large chest. I do like the wash and weight of this one, but the cut is all wrong on me. Back it goes.


THE ONE YOUR MOM BOUGHT

Okay, that's a little mean, but I honestly forgot Eddie Bauer existed? But like I said, I was casting a wide net here, so that meant ordering this denim shirt from them. I ordered a size large because it seems like their sizing is a bit more generous. And hey, I was kind of hopeful! Maybe this brand I'd forgotten about would cut things for a non-model body! Well...

This shirt depressed me. It is long, I'll give them that. But the side vents are really low, which accentuated my belly in a way that I haaaated. Overall it felt very frumpy. I could have sized up so it didn't pull at the hips, but then the top would be way too big. However if you are tall and straighter through the hips, this might be a great option on you, and the price is certainly right!


THE ONE THAT ISN'T DENIM

Always a glutton for punishment, I threw this J.Crew Factory chambray shirt into the mix. Because if the one that was twice as expensive didn't work, surely this cut rate redheaded stepchild one would?? When I opened the package I actually double checked the order because this really doesn't look like a denim or chambray shirt. The fabric os more of a woven texture. But how was the fit? 

Eh. I ordered an XL and the bottom button won't button. The shoulders and arms are cut better in this one, but the pocket is a little small and a little high, which again isn't cute if you have big boobs. And I wish the side vents were deeper because that's much easier to half tuck. But most importantly, it really doesn't read as a denim shirt in real life. 


THE ONE THAT ISN'T EVEN BLUE

This was a late night phone shopping order because I decided I needed to check Target. For whatever reason when you search "denim shirt" this is what comes up, and I ordered it without even looking at it all that closely. I guess I maybe thought it was *really* light blue? 

Nope. This is just a white shirt. HOWEVER, I am including it because I really like it! It's oversized (this is me in a size large), but cute and fits well. It buttons all the way down and has side vents (thank you!). I think it will be really cute with leggings and maybe a sweater blazer in the fall. I kept this one!


THE $7 ONE FROM A MYSTERY (TO ME) STORE

First off--I am sorry to say this shirt is sold out (this one is still in stock!), but I still wanted to include it. I have never heard of Maurices, but have since been told it's a fairly ubiquitous midwestern department store of sorts. While I was scouring the internet this short sleeved option popped up for a cool $7. I ordered it in two sizes because again, never heard of Maurices. Here I am in the size Large:

You guys this shirt is so great! It's a perfect weight, nice and long with with those deep side vents that are apparently very important to me, but it looks really cute half tucked. This shirt is everything I have always wanted a Madewell Central Shirt to be, but $7! I am giving the size XL away to a friend to share the love, because it's not really worth making the effort to return. MAURICES, WHO KNEW. 


THE WINNER THAT I NEVER WOULD HAVE PREDICTED

Guys, I KNOW. I am a grown ass human woman with big boobs and hips and I found the perfect shirt at ABERCROMBIE & FITCH. Do you need a moment, because I need a moment. I really was trying to branch out, and seeing as I still associate A&F with half naked models and that aggressive cologne and jeanz for teenz, yeah. I was pretty sure this was going to lead to heartbreak. But instead:

IT'S SO CUTE. It's so super soft, fits great (this is an XL), the pocket is big and the side vents are perfect, it's just honestly exactly what I was looking for. I just noticed I have the bottom button unbuttoned in these pics, but it comfortably buttons all the way down. It even looks cute tied at the waist over a dress. It's so soft! The wash and color are perfect! My search is freaking over!

If you hung with me through all of that, I salute you, but I also hope this was helpful. Sometimes you just need to put $300 worth of denim shirts on your credit card, drink some wine, and figure some shit out. Now to return all the rejects...

Outfit of the Day: Um, Basically The Same One.

 Hahaha, you know what's funny? When you haven't done an outfit post in a while so you figure one out and then photograph it and then format it all up and then suddenly remember that the most recent outfit you posted is basically the exact same one. SO TOTALLY FUNNY. I'M THE WORST BLOGGER.

But also, this is real life, I guess. I wear the stuff I like a lot so it makes sense that I'd be excited to um, show you the joggers that I already showed you last month:

Yup, those Athleta joggers you already saw. But, here's the thing. I posted them with my Birkenstocks a few weeks ago and now look how cute with boots! It's in the 60s today so I suddenly was like, BOOTS NOW. I've been wearing these joggers a ton and the color is so perfect with nearly everything and they're comfy like pajamas but they're real damn pants. Also, they're on sale. You should buy them if you haven't already. There's also a cute utility version that's also on sale! Yay for comfy pants. 

I tucked my top in because I am trying to be all stylish or whatever but if we're being honest, I immediately untucked it afterwards, like so:

So much better. My top is an old one from Loft but this one is similar and probably much nicer quality. I also love this one by Lucky Brand and this one as well because it's so simple. Oh! And I really, really love this one by Joie because how pretty is that spice color? On to details: 

Big surprise, I'm wearing the exact same jewelry as last time because this is literally all I've been wearing. My beautiful moonstone earrings are from Three Flames Silverworks and my labradorite necklace was made by my friend Maryellen of Twist Style.

Here's another look at my leopard boots! I bought these at the end of last winter and only got to wear them a couple of times before the shut-down (outfit here.) I'd forgotten how great they are! They're still available in a few sizes and they also have this pair, but I don't like the print as much. For something similar, this Sam Edelman pair is cute and ugh, how great is this Kate Spade pair? 

So, that's it. You get the same outfit, more or less, but yay boots! 

BUY THIS (So We Don't Have To): Sweater Weather.

Marianne and I both have decided that this year we're going to stop being bummed out about autumn and instead we're going to embrace it. We've both always been Summer 4EVR! people but this whole year has been such a downer that instead of being sad about the end of summer, we're going to be happy af about a fresh new season. TOTALLY SO HAPPY. Anyway, in the spirit of this new effort, I went searching for some good sweaters to get us all in the mood:

This turtleneck sweater is actually a fleece top from Alo Yoga so it's basically fawncy loungewear.

My friend Kate just ordered this and I LOVE IT. Looks good from the back! 

I'm still contemplating a cozy gin cardigan from Barefoot Dreams. So soft. 

This crazy fun zebra sweater is Banana Republic! I was also surprised. 

Okay, technically this is a hoodie but it's also a knit so it totally counts as a sweater. Plus, HOW CUTE.

My favorite J.Crew Sophie cardigan now comes in a delightful plum color. I'm taking it personally.

I love this Sanctuary camo/leopard print long cardigan and it comes in straight and plus sizes! 

This one is just plain mean to include, but it's the cashmere gin cardigan of my dreams. 

And finally, this cheap n' cheerful oversized sweater from Old Navy just looks easy to wear. 

Weekend Window Shopping: Fall Picks from Nordstrom Rack.

Like I said, that switch has been flipped and suddenly I'm all boots and sweaters! Decorative gourds! Woodsy scented candles! (It's still very much summer here, by the way.) Anyway, I checked out Nordstrom Rack and there is so much cute stuff. One thing I wasn't able to capture for my dumb widget was this cute rain parka:

It's by Levi's and it's on sale! I love this wine color so much. Here's what else I liked:

A Few Things I Want (and one thing I bought)

Even though it's still basically summer outside I've suddenly started wanting fall-like things and it's as if a switch flipped. Always the way, right? Here are a few things I've been thinking about:

A friend of mine visited recently and was wearing a pair of wool Allbirds, which I'd never really considered until I saw a pair in person. They appealed to me because the style is so minimal and they seemed like a good segue shoe as the weather starts to turn. My current walk-around sneakers are showing their age, so I checked out the Allbirds site and was immediately much more into the Tree Runners than the Wool Runners. They just look so light and sleek. I really like the peppercorn color (above) and the lychee color is also really good. Does anyone have a pair? 

Next up, I was totally on board to buy Marianne's leopard sweater blazer but it sold out pretty much immediately because of course it did. However, I also  really love this one:

But it's sold out of my size. (Quick aside: I was pleased to see that my favorite from last year, the J.Crew Juliette collarless sweater-blazer, is on NR because it's so good! That's not a bad price, either.) There's also this one that definitely has it's appeal, but it's pretty similar in shape to a sweater I already own so, for now, my leopard cardigan dreams have been put on hold. It's fine, it's nothing I need RIGHT THIS SECOND but it's annoying when everything sells out so quickly. 

Even though it's currently 80 degrees outside I am thinking about fall candles (MARIANNE'S FAULT) and of course I want my stupid bougie Diptyque Feu de Bois candle because it smells like a French fireplace and isn't cloying in any way. (I can't handle cloying.) I am hoping I can find something similar that doesn't cost a million dollars. This one by Woodwick  looks promising and has that crackly wooden wick thing which is fun. I'm also open to suggestions if you have a fireplace candle you really like. 

Finally, while I've been enjoying my weird fake EVA Birks, it turns out you shouldn't do yardwork in sandals. Oops. Marianne suggested her favorite garden clogs by Calzuro so I immediately bought a pair. They are SO GOOD. Like, really, really good and surprisingly comfortable. You might be thinking to yourself, "Um, they look just like Crocs." But I am here to tell you that you are wrong! They are ITALIAN garden clogs which makes them far superior to Crocs. I don't know why, they just are. Don't argue. 

We Discuss: Fuzzy Sandals and Good Pens.

M: I have found my fall quarantine shoes.

M: Are you ready

M: I don’t think you are.

A: I don't think I am.

M: GET ON BOARD:

A: Listen, I once had a delightful pair of furry Ugg flip-flop slippers. 

A: I wore them until the fur was gone.

M: I feel like no one sees my feet any more and these feel right.

A: Cheaper than Birks!

M: Yes! And I really don’t need a THIRD pair of furry Birks.

A: Wait, if you have two pairs of shearling Birks why do you need these Uggs.

A: Sorry, that was rude. Need is subjective.

M: “Need”

M: Let’s not go down THAT road.

A: I already apologized!

M: Haha

M: Though the fur is much less furry on my Birks a year later and these are more like slippers.

A: I am not trying to KonMari you.

M: If I am going to survive the likely hellscape that is Fall 2020 I need FLUFF

M: I also bought a matching sweatsuit so I AM READY

A: I love that you bought a matching sweatsuit. How very early aughts!

M: At least it doesn’t say Juicy on the rear.

A: We can fix that.

M: My rear speaks for itself.

M: I am also about to embark on another round of SummerFoot.

M: I can’t believe we’ve been doing this long enough for TWO SUMMERFEET

M: (I’m very all caps today I’m sorry)

A: I have done zero SummerFooting.

A: I bought it, but never actually did it.

M: Come with me on this journey.

M: Tonight, we should FaceTime while we soak and wrap our feet in goo.

A: Oh god

A: Okay

M: I have so little to live for.

A: I have the new pens you recommended, so.

M: I love those pens.

A: They are really good pens.

M: I miss office supplies.

A: I also have a new Bowie notebook that I’m going to write in probably:

M: ADRIEN

M: Write TO DO on the first page I mean it.

A: I AM WORKING UP TO IT

M: So pretty

A: I KNOW RIGHT

M: Sir Bowie would want you to write in it.

A: FINE: 

M: Hey, look you’ve already checked something off. You’re welcome.

A: You are a mean lady. 

BUY THIS: Athleta Sale on Sale.

Good deals at Athleta, today only (or so they claim.) An extra 20% off sale items and an extra 30% off sale jackets and dresses with code EXTRAEXTRA. Today is a holiday so this won't be extensive, but here are a few suggestions:

This jacket looks like it has potential to be really cute and also comes in olive green. 

I've never gotten a hoodie from Athleta that I regretted. This one comes in fun colors! 

I own this Zephyr tee and can't recommend it enough. 

And of course, my new favorite joggers are still available!