Friday, December 29, 2017

Weekend Window Shopping: UGH The Stupid Nordstrom Sale.

HOW DO THEY DO IT? I have just barely survived the season of wanty and now Nordstrom is whispering, "half-yearly sale" in my ear all casual like a total jerk and I was dumb and looked and now I want this stuff:



Thursday, December 28, 2017

Adrien: Party Camo.

Hi there! I hope you all survived the Christmas onslaught and if you're lucky enough to have the week off I hope you're reading this from your couch or bed or somewhere that's not work. I do have the week off and the result of that is that I take photos in the late afternoon instead of the morning and they look like crap. Sorry! 

ANYWAY, did you buy those camo jeggings from Target? Are you struggling with how to wear them that doesn't make you look like you joined the Army? I felt like that the first few times but now I just wear them as I would any pattern. In fact, I decided to try and dress them up for a party and this is the result: 

It's a bit odd but I think it works. If you're not a fan of the Target jegging option, I think these camo Sanctuary jeans look good or you could with something darker like these Hudson jeans (more sizes here). I also think something like these not-so-tight grey camo pants would work great. 

Now, all you need is a Kim France "party in a top" and you're good to go. Mine is Violet & Claire which is one of those weird brands only found at TJ Maxx. It's drapey and has a fairly subtle jeweled collar and I've worn it a ton this holiday season. And it was so inexpensive! And washable! I can't find it online but TJ Maxx has this jeweled neck petite top that I think is super pretty. For something similar to mine, I love this embellished blouse at Ann Taylor and this one with the beaded collar at Modcloth. I also found this similarly drapey option at Last Call. 

Look at me suffering through those high heels. God, how did I wear those all day? I kept my accessories pretty delicate and simple up top because the jeweled collar does most of the work. Here are the details:

I'm wearing my tiny labradorite necklace which is sold out but check out this one by Shashi! I'm also wearing a tiny silver lariat style necklace that I think came in a Popsugar box? I can't remember but there are tons of similar options, like this one from Gorjana and I also love this extra-long version from BR. My cocktail ring is Alexis Bittar, which came from the Box of Style and can be found on Poshmark and the like. 

Still wearing high heels! I used to wear this pair of Chie Miharas all the time but now I rarely pull them out because, heels. Luckily, Chie has gotten on board with the lower heels and there are a bunch on sale at Nordstrom! I love these red mary janes and this pair of studded t-straps is adorable.

I'm carrying my grey MBMJ hobo which I finally rotated back in. So good! Nordstrom Rack still has it in pale grey and black, just FYI. (There are also some MJ bags/pouches on clearance but it's mostly the weird stuff.)

That's it! I am back to wearing my Gap joggers and a sweatshirt for the rest of the week. Yay.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

We Discuss: Makeup Things.

M: I wore mascara yesterday that just would not come off. No matter what I tried.

A: What was it?

M: Something I bought a while back because of Kim France. It’s Japanese. I think it’s permanent

A: Oh yeah, I have that stuff. I wear it when I know I’m going to work out later. It doesn’t ever come off so you just have to wait for your lashes to fall out

M: 😬😬😬

A:  It’s pretty close to being dried out so I might go back to my old standby Fairydrops stuff

A: Oh! And I get a Dior mascara in my Dec Allure box, which should be quite a good box.

M: That’s exciting! I need to just buy another Tarteist. Mine is dried out and sad

A: My everyday is Lancôme Hypnôse Drama Mascara and it’s fine

A: But not magic

M: Tarteist is pretty perfect for me. My friend Elizabeth says the terribly named Lancôme Monsieur Big is her new holy grail

A: Ew. Why is that name

M: So bad

A: This is the box. I am excited about more than half of it, which is unusual.

A: PEE ESS The eye liner I got in my Sephora sample bag is legit magic.

M: Oh yay!

M: I can’t remember the last time I wore eyeliner 😬

M: But what is it

A: It’s Lancome and it’s purple and it stallllll day on my oily ass lids.

A: I have to wear eyeliner or I look like a mole woman

M: Untrue!

A: Anyway, it’s pretty. The end.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

We Discuss: Misery Crop.


M: Misery crop indeed.

A: What the actual fuck

M: Sold out, sorry

A: But seriously, if cold stomach jackets becomes a thing I quit

M: I think at that point I officially embrace old age

M: Eileen Fisher would never do that to us

A: She's a good egg who understands our needs

M: How about a down blanket that goes to your ankles. Yes?

A: Yes! Sign me up.

A: Cinch it in the middle for some vague lady shape and I'm good to go.

M: You basically just described my new coat

A: Which is nearly sold out, btw

M: Duh

M: Also pretty sure Ashley Williams is a plus sized model? Why is she so mean?

A: She hates fun

M: She’s probably actually Ted Cruz

A: He seems like the kind of guy who'd green-light that jacket

M: 1000%

Friday, December 22, 2017

Weekend Window Shopping: Festive AF.

There's a lot about the holiday season that's annoying and stressful but one thing I do like is that you can dress up like a disco ball and it's perfectly legit. Let's get festive af, y'all:



Thursday, December 21, 2017

Adrien: Dress Yourself in Flannel and Denim.

Look, I know plaid shirts are a thing again. They're classic but also seem to show up every 10 years or so, all, "I'm in again! LOVE ME." So I did the opposite of what I would normally do and instead of spending too much on a super cute trendy Anthro number I went for the real thing: 

Oh yeah, my friends. That right there is a thick plaid flannel from LL Bean. I freaking love it. It's very warm and very comfortable and even though it claims to be "slightly fitted" it's basically a sack. Did I mention I love it? They have several different styles of flannel shirt and I am considering the Whisper Lodge in the purple plaid as my next purchase. This is what it's come to. 

If you're into a plaid shirt but want some actual shape or style this one by Vince is breaking my heart a little and I also love this one by Rebecca Taylor (a few more sizes here.) If you're looking for a bargain, I've heard good things about Old Navy flannel shirts and this O'Neill plaid shirt is really cute and not too expensive. And listen, if you want plaid and crazy sleeves, Loft has you covered. I don't judge. I'm also wearing my Madewell coated denim jeans which I like because they're super black and sort of pass as normal pants at work. Has anyone tried Gap's black coated jeans? They look great and they're so cheap right now! 

Oooh, doesn't that look soft and warm? It is. I'm wearing only my little Labradorite pendant which can be found at Nordstrom Rack and also comes in a chalcedony version which is quite pretty. Aw crap, I just found this charm necklace by the same designer and now I want that too. Really though, I should be wearing some kind of punk rock statement necklace with this shirt and work it a little harder. Next time!

So yeah, I have so far managed to not buy a new pair of Madewell boots (even though they're 30% off right now) and instead I'm going to wait and see what kind of deals they have after Christmas. I am a serene, saint-like person, really. I do still love my Lucien boots from last year and I wear them a ton plus I don't need boots. I don't need boots. I don't need boots.

I'm carrying my eBay rescue Marc Jacobs Paradise Rio satchel and it was SUCH a good buy. It's totally broken me out of my hobo slump and it's all I want to carry lately. There is one on eBay (not my auction) that looks like a bargain just in case you were looking. I'm the worst, I'm sorry/not sorry.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

We Watched This Dumb Holiday Movie So You Don't Have To.

Hey, so remember last year when Marianne and I documented the delightful Spirit of Christmas? (Part One and Two if you have the free time.) This year since we're both obsessed with the royal engagement I suggested we watch A Christmas Prince. We watched it together and texted each other our thoughts and oh my God, you guys. Literally watch anything else. Like, anything else. Or just read our completely nonsensical convo:



A: It's starting

M: Festive af

A: It looks like it was made in the 80s

M: What even is this font. And fake snow.

A: Comic Christmas Sans

M: Oh, Amber



M: I wish this movie was Amber destroying the fucking patriarchy but I think she’s gonna marry a prince

A: Aldovia?

M: Aldovia = fake country

A: She's never smashing anything

A: I just drooled through the major plot point

M: Seriously I’m already like wha

A: Prince Terrible Beard

M: Prince Derpface

A: He's no Harry

M: She’s no Meghan


M: Ooh pie

M: I want pie

A: I'd kill for pie

A: Like, lemon pie

A: Or Apple

M: Chess pie

A: Fuck

M: Fuckkkkk

M: Wait I missed the plot again

M: She has to go to Aldovia??

M: She has to GO there

A: Duh

M: This is just like the inn

A: How can she bang Prince Derpface otherwise?

M: I guess I thought they would meet cute in the big City

M: That’s prince Derpface under cover of terrible beard

A: Derp just took her cab

M: Hahaha

A: Haha

M: Aldovia is in Colorado

A: Yeeeeah

M: Or like New Hampshire

A: Disney castle!

M: That’s pretty

M: Do they have pie?

A: It doesn't suck

A: They have mini pies

M: Sigh

A: Prince Richard is snorting coke off a hooker. J/K

M: I like the way that guy says shedule

A: Shedddduuuel

M: Amber in her Converse

A: Hatching a plotface

M: Just a regular girl

A: Wow, She just walked in.

M: Slip right into a fucking castle sure

M: Take off your press pass honey

A: Slack security in Aldovia, CO

M: Princess Emily? Who dat

A: Prince Derp’s little sister

M: I reckon

A: Amber is her tutor now because sure

M: Emily sounds fun

A: Gross beard, Prince Derp




M: I guarantee you she’s an able bodied kid. That bugs.

A: She's basically channeling Veruca Salt

M: Emily = Veruca Salt

M: Oh damn!

A: I love you

M: Same

M: Who put a vase there on a post.

A: The royal family is a bunch of jerks

M: For real

M: Converse. Seriously

A: I want Amber's clothes to be...

M: Better

A: Yes. Just that.

A: God, this is deadly



M: Btw that kid is perfectly able bodied. If your going to pull the disability card try using an actual disabled actor ffs

A: Agree. It's lazy bullshit

M: Prince Derp. He’s no sexy ghost

A: No, he's basic

M: Amber what are you wearing


A: It's like Gap circa 1997

M: So bad

M: So Cousin Simon wants the throne

M: This “plot” is rough

A: This movie is rough


A: Emily feels that shit

M: Emily is woke

A: Veruca Salt is gonna Lemonade that shit

M: Amber girl what’s happening with your cardigan

A: It's painful, her clothes

A: Wait, what gathering is this?

M: Is this just every night

A: Ha

M: Like Downton Abbey?

A: I wonder what's hiding in the secret giant acorn ornament?

A: I'll bet Amber will clumsy it open

M: A ring

M: And he will give it to her Christmas Eve

A: Of course

A: And then turn into a ghost?

M: This is JUST like the ghost. No real job would send you somewhere for this long. It would be a 48 hour junket

A: I mean, Amber’s just living there now?

M: Ooooookay

A: Oh fuck

M: Oooooh snap

A: Princess Emily is the smartest person in this movie

M: Emily for Queen

A: 100%

M: We came around on Emily right quick

M: Ooh that kitchen

A: Magical Disney castle kitchen

M: It’s like the kitchen at the Biltmore

M: Don’t cry tiny Tim!

M: (I’m going to hell)

A: Amber, stop speaking in cliches

M: I cannot get it up for Prince Richard

A: He looks like a Sound of Music Nazi


A: No sparkle, all hair gel

A: They're worried about who will rule the country? Is there no actual government in Aldovia?

M: I guess not

A: Ooh, a ball

M: Is the coronation ball ON Christmas

M: Of course it is

A: Duh

A: Welcome to Aldovia.

M: They should have put Emily in a pussy hat

A: Give that kid a yellow dress and a bat

M: Sledding! They gonna die

A: Prince Derp gonna be mad. Von Trapp mad.

A: Or not

M: Oh of course it’s time for a snowball fight

M: He is Not Cute

A: This is very Wham! video

M: Haaaa

M: Last Christmas you had a beard
Then the very next day, you shaved it away


A: WTF is that saddle

M: That horse is serving lewks

A: Also, he can't ride

M: That’s not him

A: Newp

M: Stunt rider

A: x2

M: It’s cool I was raised in a NYC diner but I can ride

A: Ha, wow

M: Welp

A: Surprise, Amber sucks at horsing

M: Are there...wolves


M: Is this beauty and the beast?!

A: now we're talking

M: She just sat down

A: Derp saves the day

M: Where are they??

A: Derp' secret Nazi lair

A: Or, the King's hunting cabin

M: Pooooooor baby

A: Why is she still there? It's been weeks.

M: Years

A: She brought her entire Gap wardrobe.

M: Could they not hire an attractive man

M: I am so confused

A: He's so bland

A: Interrupted Kiss

A: Sans chemistry

M: She’s pretty bland herself

A: Secret drawer, don't care

A: I can't even remember why Derp doesn't want to be King.

M: Me neither

M: This adoption storyline?

A: Legit Aldovia birther story

M: Lolll

M: Gurrrrllll

A: Lord

A: It's like his features all belong to different faces.

M: Like someone cut and pasted him

M: Does anyone really call their dad pop

A: Fake Aldovia calling fake NY

M: Everyone is in Toronto


M: I think they were trying to cast a Prince William

A: Oh, they failed so bad

M: She literally packed an entire Old Navy

M: Do castles get into Christmas lights like this

A: Do they not have conditioner in Aldovia

A: It's a Disney castle

A: That kiss

M: 🙄

M: Richard, leave it all behind, sell your story, write a book

A: Did he really let that priceless Friesian stallion wander off again?

M: Seriously that horse is more expensive than anything in this movie

A: He's so ODD looking

M: It’s like he’s made of silly putty

M: Emily ILU

A: Fun fact: Martha Stewart has Friesians

A: Tiny Tim, keep fighting!

M: God bless us everyone!

A: Emily went to Pandora!

M: Every kiss begins with Kay

A: Ah, Amber’s makeover begins

M: Of course

M: She looks like Amy Adams now

A: He still looks like a Von Trapp Nazi

A: *sigh*

M: Both basic

M: He is tall. That’s nice.

A: I'm trying to care about what happens

M: I literally just forgot to watch for a minute

A: You didn't miss anything

A: Why again is he taking the crown during the Xmas ball?

M: They seriously have a microphone

M: Like he’s prom queen

A: It's all so embarrassing

A: This is dumb

A: Nobody is a ghost?

M: This is un fun

M: The opposite of what I want in a cheesy Christmas movie

A: It's bleak

A: Aldovia's airport looks like a bus station

M: Why does she have that poem still

M: Oh the acorn


A: Nobody curr about the political stuff

M: This is so borinnnnngk

A: Acorn time

M: The acorn has to go off in the final act

A: I mean, wooden acorn with a secret

M: This is not ever how this shit goes down

A: Yaaaawwwwn

M: His stupid knee pillow

A: Oh, the king amended the law. Then stuck it in a giant acorn. Riveting stuff.

M: 🙄🙄🙄

A: Words words words

M: Derp crown


M: Alderpia

A: Why did I not think of that?

M: You’re slipping

A: The hard bitten editor ain't happy. Amber quits!

A: Oh, she's going to write a blog. Cool.

M: Counting down to the prince arrival


M: Clever

A: Sharp, our Amber.

M: Less than five minutes to Derp

A: There he is

M: Looking like a bowl of mashed potatoes

A: A king. Just hanging out on a completely deserted Manhattan street. On NYE.

M: Toronto


M: Casual

M: Oh god

A: Oh god

M: He went to Jared

A: career

A: Honey.

M: “Career”

M: You can blog from the palace dear

A: Amber's Blog

A: Haaaaaa

A: That hideous ring!

M: What the fuck is that ring


A: Oh thank god it's over.

M: Well that was terrible

M: Not even funny

A: It was no Christmas ghost

M: 😒

A: I'm sorry

M: Oh it was still fun to watch with you

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

BUY THIS (Because I Did): GAP Sale Can't Stop Won't Stop

Look, I'm sorry. I was going to post an outfit today but then I wandered over to Gap to see if my favorite joggers were marked down to nothing yet and WHEEE. They are! Sadly, they're nearly sold out in all colors except light grey, but with the sale pricing plus code CHEERY for 40% off (and try stacking code MORE for an extra 10% off) plus 8% cash back on eBates and I was like, well shit. So I ordered:

so basic.

Yes. Another pair of my beloved French Terry Joggers aka Basic Sweatpants. I am not as crazy about the light grey as I am about the washed black but let's be real - these are not going to see the light of day. They are purely indoor cookie-eating binge-watching gin-drinking holiday pants. Because I hate to pay for shipping I felt like I had to order something else so I pounced on these Chelsea rain boots:

Not Madewell.

Other than tall Hunter boots I don't actually own rain boots and these are hella cute. They get decent reviews and were basically free, so yay for rubber Chelsea boots even if they're not dreamy Madewell leather Chelsea boots (sob.) I was also very tempted to order this cute olive puffer jacket because I love the color:

But then I remembered my other million existing jackets and did not order it because I am a very serene minimalist type person. Hahaha. I didn't order it shut up. It would look cute on you. You could also get a ridiculously good deal on this cute jersey dress that you won't freeze in because sleeves:

And would someone please just get this weird metallic sweatshirt so I can stop thinking about it? I kind of love it but need it not at all:

I am a robot.

Finally, these jeans with the zip pockets look really cute and come in a bunch of colors and you should maybe try them and let me know. For blog science:

Science is real.

Go forth and get nearly-free Gap clothes! They're throwing them at you in desperate piles and it would be rude to refuse.

Monday, December 18, 2017

BUY THIS (So We Don't Have To): Two Coats Real Quick-Like.

Two cute coats I thought y'all should know about! My friend Paula was eyeing this olive LOFT parka with the blue fur color (which I love) but it went in and out of sale before she could grab it so she was like, nevermind, I'm getting this Old Navy parka instead:

Super cute and cheap and she said it's surprisingly well-made, so check it out if you're looking for a cheap and cheerful red (or olive or black) parka. Plus, right now get an extra 20% off the already marked down price with code HURRY plus 8% back with eBates.

Similarly, Marianne wanted a warm down coat and was considering this cool puffer jacket from Universal Standard, but didn't really want to spend so much. Instead, she ordered this one from the Gap:

She loves it! Apparently everyone else does too because it's nearly sold out, making this post kind of mean, I'm sorry. (I suspect it'll be back shortly - they've been restocking.) As a not-sold-out alternate I think this one is super cute! And right now Gap has marked everything down 50% and you can get an extra 20% off with code GIFTNOW plus 8% back with eBates.

We Discuss Tounching and Sequins.


A: That's so fun!

M: I don’t think it’s the most flattering thing ever.

M: But sequins.

M: My kids are obsessed.

A: Where's it from?

M: Um

M: JCPenney

A: Hahaaaa

M: Tracee Ellis Ross line:

A: Oh! So nice.

M: It’s great on that moddle.

A: I want it to be shorter but I think it's really fun.

M: I think on me shorter would be better. But I was getting it for a party this weekend and won’t have time to have it taken up so should prob return.

A: Booo

M: I bought it in the next size up which maybe fit better on the bottom but not the top and it was even longer.

M: Plus my legs and arms that contacted the sequins are already stinging.

M: Very...exfoliating

A: Yeah, it looks itchy.

M: Part of me is like it’s a $50 sequined dress and you should hang onto it but part of me is broke.

A: Even for $50 you should love it and feel happy in it.

A: I love the idea of it.

M: I do think it would be better shorter:

A: You know what? I think it's really cute on you.

M: Yes, but heels would help.

A: Try it on with heels.

M: I did. It helped but it’s still long.

A: Hmm

M: Maybe I run it by my seamstress and see if she can shorten it by Saturday.

A: Midi is hard.

M: If she can’t I let it go.

A: But, I really think it's kinda fabulous.

M: Normally I’m all about a midi but this one is a lot.

My dress is already done! And whoops that hem cost $40. Sequins man.

A: Whoops

A: But yay

M: Well all told it’s a good party dress for under $100 that I can pull out every year.

A: Definitely.

A: Oh, it’s great!

M: It’s very fun

A: Super fun party dress

M: The only problem is people will want to tounch it:

A: No tounching!

M: Irresistible

M: It’s like 13% back Ebates too.

A: Oh, nice! I have finally brought you around.

M: Ha when I remember. Problem is I shop a lot on my phone.

A: What a time to be alive.

Friday, December 15, 2017

Weekend Window Shopping: Anthropologie Has You Covered.

Anthro currently has 25% off everything with free shipping (no minimum!) so now would be a good time to order those stupid little gifts you forget about. Here is a selection of under-$25 gifts that anyone should be delighted to receive and if they're not, they get nothing and will be happy with that. So There.


Thursday, December 14, 2017

An Entirely Selfish Gift Guide.

Yeah, so I am one of those people who Christmas shops with a one-for-you-two-for-me mentality because when else am I looking SO HARD for good stuff? I also want good stuff! I am a terrible person and it's definitely better to give than to receive and peace on earth and all that stuff. Sure.

But...I also think you have to make your own fun and sometimes a list just happens. Here's what's on my Christmas List for Me right now:

These Madewell Chelsea boots are haunting me.  They've been in my cart for weeks and I'm scared they'll sell out before they get cheap enough for me to justify buying them. (Edited to add: they just sold out in my size. Woe.) But, it's not like Madewell will never have chelsea boots again, right? RIGHT? 

Also, do not follow Liberty London on Instagram because holy shit. They make me want so much stuff. Like:

This zip-top pouch is one of my very favorite Liberty prints. I don't need a little pouch but I do, right? Oh, I definitely do.

I also love this tote as well and I'm pretty sure I've posted it before. So useful and beautiful and yes, I hate myself for even looking at it. Stahp.

So, the other thing is that I have almost no "real" jewelry and every now and then I feel like I could be a better adult person if I had, say,  this lightning bolt necklace from Wolf and Badger which is basically killing me:

It is legit super tiny and ridiculously expensive and booooooooo. I can't have it. In that same vein is this incredibly beautiful and stupid single diamond earring lightning bolt that I would wear to my grave, or so I assume. (Though this more literal version from Catbird is rad too.) I'd also love something super minimal like these tiny gold bar earrings. I guess I could be super bargain-y and get these glorious Annie Fensterstock diamond earrings from TJ Maxx:

I gasped when I first saw them and then got lightheaded when I saw the price. Like, HAHAHA NOT FOR YOU DUMMY.  This pair is even better/worse. I can't keep talking about them. NEXT THING:

Has anyone bought a pair of these (only slightly too expensive) Mahabis slippers? Are they magical? Because really I want shearling Birkenstocks or another pair of Uggs slippers but something about the Mahabis ads just make them seem like they'd change my life a little. Apparently I really want expensive slippers that can be worn outside.

In other news, Anthro just put a bunch of winter stuff on sale "up to" 40% off and now I want this giant Michael Stars carnigan gin sweater::

I KNOW I KNOW. It looks so drapey and good but also substantial. Wouldn't I look cute in that? I think so too. Finally, I think I need some fresh fun makeup. I definitely want to make sure that the crazy Hourglass lipstick ends up in my stocking (because I will put it there) but I'm also super into this Charlotte Tilbury palette:

I need this like a glowy hole in the head but it just seems like a useful and delightful set. I also want to try her three-way eyebrow pencil and HOLD UP. I have found it. I have found the thing I need more than any other thing:

HEART EYES EMOJI! What on earth! A kitty pouch and lipstick set? This is it, you guys. This is the thing that wins the gift guide Internet today. Thank you and good day.