With Friends Like That...

source: trendycrew.com

A: I just. What?

M: Those shorts are like a yeast infection waiting to happen.

A: I feel like this might be some kind of a practical joke? Like, she laid out her outfit the night before and her BFF secretly replaced her regular pants with sparkly green hotpants.

M: Like those old Folger's commercials?



"We've replaced this young woman's pants with sequined hotpants...let's see if she can tell the difference."

A: I don't think she can tell the difference.

M: I mean the chafing ALONE!

A: She does have a weird look on her face, like, "Why is that photographer taking my...DAMMIT. HOTPANTS."

M: "I SWORE THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN."

A: They are a jaunty pop of color?

M: And a pretty color at that. Just not so close to her Good Girl, maybe?

A: If it was a skirt and longer and she wasn't wearing those shoes and maybe also not the vest, maybe? Yes.

M: And do something with the hair and I'm not sure about the glasses, either. Otherwise perfect!

A: Oh yeah, the hair. No. Basically, we like her white t-shirt.

M: Lovely t-shirt! Well done, you.

A: Man, we are a couple of picky bitches.

M: It's not called picky when you're right.

A: And we are definitely right.

Adrien: Occasionally, you win.

Online shopping can be risky but sometimes I find a bargain I deem worthy of risk. (And in this case, with free shipping/returns, not really that risky.) I bought the shoes I talked about in this entry without ever having tried on a pair of Coclico shoes, so I really had no idea if they'd work for me. Also, the online photos made them seem like they could go either way - there's a thin line between quirky and dowdy. Very thin. Anyway, I'm delighted to report that they arrived and they're GREAT. What hasn't been great is the weather, so the lighting in these photos don't really do them full justice:

violet trim!

dress: Merona Crossover (striped version here) (fall-friendly similar)

shoes: Coclico Renny

bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs (inexpensive similar) (similar)

bracelet: Marc by Marc Jacobs (similar)

belt: Target (similar)

necklace: Banana Republic (similar)

Adrien: Online Shopping. It's how I do.

Okay, so lets say you want to buy something online. You go to the website where you found The Thing, put it in your cart and paid for it and now you are waiting patiently for it to arrive.

Yay! You just did it wrong.

First of all, it makes me angry to pay for shipping. This is not rational, but so many websites offer free shipping these days so it seems like throwing money away if I have to pay it. I also look for sites that offer free returns. Some sites, like Zappos, will upgrade to free overnight shipping (sign up to be a VIP!) and Amazon is always tempting me with a free trial Amazon Prime month, which gets me free 2-day shipping. Yay free! You just saved yourself $8-$10 right there.

The next thing you should be doing is signing up with a rebates site. If you aren't doing this, I will give you this look:

Because YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS. They want to give you money! I use eBates, but there are all kinds of rebate sites out there. The main trick is to remember to use them. So, with my last order, I'll get $3.00 back in eBates money. Small beans but it adds up.

Now, if you are patient you should wait for a promo code to be emailed to you or if it's not a retailer where you've shopped before, go find one. (Look, I can't do everything for you, try RetailMeNot.) Also, some sites will give you 10-20% off if you sign up for the newsletter. This is why I get so much junk email, but eff it. I want that discount.

Finally, and I don't actually recommend this unless you are a very fiscally responsible person, a store credit card will also get you discounts and free shipping and whatnot. So, if you have a Banana Republic card you'll usually get free shipping and will also earn rewards, which can be stacked with promo codes. On my last order I used a $10 reward.

I am just going to stop right here for a second and tell you that I LIVE for stacking promo codes. It's the best, y'all. I get mad when retailers won't let me stack (AMAZON) because that is some bullshit. Do not tell me that an item I want to buy has two available promotions and not let me use both together.

Okay! So, I am going to break this down. Say you want to buy these jeans from Piperlime and you don't want to pay an absurd $178 for them. But hey, Piperlime just sent you a 20% off code! That helps. They also offer free shipping and returns, even better. And you have a $10 reward you haven't used. And HEY, eBates is offering 2% back! That is a lot of discount, you guys. Now, this is math, and the space where math is stored in my head is actually full of Duran Duran lyrics, so bear with me here while I try to break this down:

jeans retail price: $178.00
20% code: - $35.60
$10 reward: - $10.00
cash back: - $3.00
shipping: free

Total price: $130ish. So, not MIND BLOWING in it's cheapness, but a whole lot better, eh?

Now, what did I forget? And please, tell me about your best online shopping bargain!

Perv University.

source: The Sartorialist

source: The Sartorialist

A: I'm really sure he took these two photos because of their outfits.

M: Oh, yes, he just admires the fashion.

A: That first photo is all NO BRA NO BRA NO BRAAAAAAA!

M: But it's ITALIAN no bra. Arty.

A: What about old lace pants panny girl? What's arty about that?

M: She is holding a camera. An Artiste.

A: I love that the SHobbit took that photo at ass-level.

M: Well, he is at a disadvantage. But also who really needs to look at their faces?

A: Faces are so un-arty. Ass and boobs!

M: That's the sign of a true auteur.

A: If you say so.

M: Also, short pants.

A: Now you're just lying to me.

M: Shoes with lifts, etc.

A: MARIANNE. I WENT TO COLLEGE.

M: Clearly not the right college.

A: Rude.

Marianne: Replacements.

How much do you buy into the whole idea that every woman must have certain things in their closet? You know the drill, it always includes things like a trench coat and the perfect white button down shirt? Well, I've always pretty much ignored it, except lately I keep pulling out this beyond ratty, at least 10-years-old J. Crew button down and wearing it. It's just so comfortable and fits so nicely, but it also has yellowed arm pits (sorry, ew), and has generally seen better days.

Trust me, this shirt is worn out.

 The problem? Shopping for a white button-down shirt is soooooo  boooooooring. The other problem? The only things I like are too expensive, like this T by Alexander Wang Silk and Mesh Combo Blouse:

T by Alexander Wang Silk and Mesh Combo Blouse

That's pretty, right? Just unusual enough, but also over $200. BIG SIGH. This Theory shirt would also do and is also over $200 because of course it is:

Frankie Stretch Cotton Button-Down Shirt

So I am reaching out to you guys. Does that perfect white button down exist? Because I have really got to stop wearing the pit-stained one. I mean, seriously.

top: J. Crew
pants: Pilcro and the Letterpress, anthropologie (in red and blue here)
shoes: French Sole Sloop (those are on sale and the BEST!)
bag: Su-Shi Old Skool Mini in Honey Brown (in red and black here)

Ewany! (AKA your new favorite word.)

M: I feel like Sam Worthington is worth discussing.

A: As per usual, I have no idea who he is. I looked him up and I don't think I've seen a single thing he's been in.

M: I watched the movie Last Night, well, last night. Depressing movie but he is pleasing. He has a burlier Ewan thing going:

A: Oh! Gosh. Hi there.

M: Right? Right. Ewany:

A: Ooh, look at him all broody and smoldering:

M: Helloooooooo.

A: And hey! I guess this means it's Friday.

M: I love Fridays!

A: Me too! But Marianne, we've made Ewan sad:

M: Oh no! Not sad Ewan!

A: Okay, not really, I just wanted an excuse to post a Ewan photo. I'm done.

M: You never need to make an excuse for that.

A: Do I need an excuse for this?

M: YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.

A: I win! Happy Friday.

M: Whatever I am going HOME.

A: BYE.

90% of our conversations go like this.

A: I stumbled across these shoesand I'm sort of...considering them? I have a 20% off coupon:

Coclico Renny

M: Those are interesting for sure. I like the color.

A: I should be saving towards boots, but... I am bad at shopping.

M: Well, let's see. Don't you have purple shoes already?

A: Those are brown with purple trim! Totally different. I do have tall purple-ish Frye t-straps, though.

M: Ah, they read plum at first. You really, really want boots, though. Devil's advocate.

A: I know. Ugh.

M: I'm sorry! They are real pretty and definitely your style. But.

M: I think I want this haircut:

A: I love you, but that looks like long curly hair to me. (I AM BASICALLY A DUDE.)

M: I swear.

A: I'm sorry! I do not understand this photo in the context of "haircut" but it does look like glorious, long curly hair I will never have.

M: Sigh

A: It looks like your hair! Which is gloriously long and curly! I'm going to go play football now! Maybe drink some beer!

M: Impossible. Have you decided on the shoes?

A: Eh, free returns, I ordered them on spec.

M: Oooh. Yay for new shoes!

A: I'm pretty sure Coclico and Chie Mihara are made at the same place, so I'm curious.

M: I didn't know that! Interesting. I still covet those blue Coclico wedges.

A: Oh god, those are fantastic.

M: These are the perfect skinny jeans I have been searching for:

7FAMK Slim Illusion Rinse Skinny Jeans

Must. Try.

A: Ooooh, those look really good! I had to return my original pair of 7 For All Mankind Kimmie jeans because they were more than 50% stretch and felt like Old Navy jeans. I try-tried again with these:

7FAMK Kimmie 

A: Same cut, different fabric/color. They're pretty good.

M: Those look freaking perfect! I seriously might lose my mind and buy those skinny jeans.

A: I think that's entirely reasonable as long as they're absolutely perfect. I don't mess around with jeans. If that pair is on Amazon, they have two promotions running right now. You can get 20% off by signing up for their clothing emails or $20 off denim.

M: THEY ARE ON AMAZON TELL ME MORE I WILL BUY THEM RANOW.

A: Dammit, now I want these:

7FAMK Slim Cigarette Jeans

A: I need to stop looking at stuff.

M: God, we are a sick lot. I really hope these jeans work. I was seriously in tears last week over my skinny jean situation? Sad.

A: I only have one pair of jeans I can wear with boots right now. It's downright tragical.

M: My Gap skinny jeans kind of split my peaches a bit and I just can't handle it any more.

A: I have my black skinny jeans that I can still squeeze into but my blue ones (Levi's) are OBSCENE.

M: Those Joe's jeans skinny monsters!

A: Oh, not those! I have another pair that are actual jeans. I'd forgotten about the "force them on" pants. Ha.

M: Just depressing.

A: YOU WILL LOVE THEM.