A: Goop Scrolldown!
M: I don't know how to say this...
A: You got me those sparkle boots for Christmas, didn't you.
M: I got them for ME. I love them. Don't yell.
A: This photo make me hate them less:
A: But still! I am not sold.
M: Look how happy she is! A happiness only glitter boots and the perfect red coat can buy.
A: Every single other thing about that outfit is perfection. Perfection! That red coat is romantic unicorn fairy love.
M: If you gave me that outfit I would spin around singing, Sound of Music-style.
A: It's really not fair. How come she gets to just be whoever she wants to be? How is she good at wearing everything?
M: Seriously, tomorrow she could come out in a Star Trek jumpsuit and I'd be all...it works.
A: I mean, which Jackson did she steal those boots from? Tito? Jermaine? It shouldn't work.
M: Girl those are straight up Ziggy Stardust.
A: Goddammit, now I like them.
M: She always wins.
A: I'm still not convinced she's pulling them off.
M: That's okay. In 2014 when we're all wearing glitter boots and skinny jeans we'll barely remember this.
A: Ugh. Damn you, Paltrow.