Thursday, April 19, 2012

Marianne: The Hair Saga, part One.

My hair has been looking pretty decent lately.

Good Hair.
But I know summer is looming, and summer means wearing my hair up in braids for three solid months. Because summer means humidity and humidity means frizz. OH, THE FRIZZ.

So naturally I was intrigued by the Ion Keratin Smoothing Treatment. I picked it up at my local Sally Beauty Supply for $30, which was a much more appealing price than the $200 salon quote I'd heard. But then, I read the directions. Y'all, this is a PROCESS. To start, you wash your hair SIX TIMES with the special shampoo. Six. Times. That is a lot of times, David. Then, after stripping your hair completely, you blow dry it thoroughly. And are left with this.

Do not adjust your monitor.

Still with me? Because I feel a little faint. At this point, I put my hair in a bun and tied a scarf turban style, and went about my Saturday. Because I did not have a 5+ hour block of time to do all of this crap at once, I had to split it up.

My husband was working that night, so after I got Lu down to bed, I dove back in. In painstakingly tiny 1/4 inch sections, I brushed the keratin solution through my hair, root to tips, taking care not to over-saturate. This took...a while. I started drinking wine and watching episodes of Once Upon a Time. Then I had to blow dry it AGAIN.

One side dried, one side to go.
Still not even close to being done, y'all. Now, in even tinier 1/8 inch sections, I began to flat iron my hair. You have to go over each miniscule section 5-6 times with the iron. Took. FOREVER. Here I am at the halfway point at just before 11:00pm. This was when I Facetime'd Adrien for a pep talk.

Don't give up!
But finally, I finished. And my hair was really, really straight. And long. And Cher-like. I wish I could tell you that I loved it, but I didn't. My hair felt completely foreign, moreso than it ever has after a salon blowout.
I've got you, babe.

The real question for me is, what is my hair going to look like after I wash it (in three days)? I'm dreaming of loose, frizz free curls and waves. Of hair that I can wash and not think about beyond "dang, my hair looks good". So, what happened next? Stay tuned for part two. INTRIGUE!
P. S. The outfit was my uniform all weekend, a look I lovingly refer to as "kooky part time poetry teacher".

oversized t-shirt dress: James Perse (similar here and here)
footless tights: Assets
bag: Kooba "Lola" (similar- and on sale!-here and here)
sandals: Ann Taylor (similar here and super cheap here)
scarf: eBay (similar here, I like this one even more than mine!)


  1. OOh! Cool! I've been doing salon Keratin for 2 years and I LOOOVE it--no more frizzy curly crazy unpredictable hair! But yes, that first-done, total flatness is hard to take. That goes away in a few days beyond the first washing, and then you are left with the most shiny manageable, consistent hair you've ever experienced. I am never going curly again I think. First 40 years a frizz bomb, next 40 a straightened goddess! LOL

  2. This is an insane process! I would've cried.
    It looks gorgeous and shiny and smooth and not Cher-like at all. But yeah, I can see being shocked and not having all that volume going on around your head.
    Can't wait to see what it looks like after the first wash!

  3. Wow, your hair looks amazing!! I need to try this but don't know if I have patience to go through all the steps.

  4. You can't have a cliffhanger! I need to know what happens next.

  5. I recently got a japanese straightening and keratin treatment, and it was crazzzzzzzy how straight and limp my hair was for the first few days before I could wash it. It didn't even look like my hair! But now its frizz free and it's so quick to straighten now! I love it!

  6. Your hair looks so different, but so good! Not at all Cher-like.

  7. Oh wow! Thank you for the step by step of what you did. I am excited to see what your curls look like once you wash it! You have such amazing hair and I think it looks great all the ways (straight and curly).

  8. You crack me up!! "That is a lot of times, David" - LOL'ed for 10 minutes straight.

  9. crazy!! Actually, this is a little frightening, like seeing your evil twin or something (reminds me of this awesome Radiolab story on hair parting and society-

    If only there were a reverse process for us straight-hairs...