Thursday, May 20, 2021

We Discuss: Shorts Are Hard.

M: I swear suddenly grown ass women with real bodies are recommending Abercrombie of all places. I NEED SHORTS HELP

A: I was literally just looking at shorts online

M: It’s madness out there

M: I had some in my cart at Gap and they are sold out now

A: I am leery of my usual go-to Old Navy because everything is super super duper extra high rise

M: Yeah

A: Not so great for the short-waisted

A: I don’t know if I can handle Abercrombie tho

M: I know

M: I feel like I need to do the shorts version of my denim shirt quest

A: I support this


A: I went to try on shorts. It I did not go well. 

A: These are the Madewell relaxed shorts. They were comical:

M: They don’t look bad! But a little loose in the leg

A: Oh trust, they were not great on me.

M: 😬

A: The pic makes them look ok but they were SO WIDE

M: I think my issue is that to accommodate my ass/hips anything relaxed is going to be stupid wide on my legs. So looking for more of a Bermuda cut because those will be loose on my legs but not insane

A: Yeah, I like my Joe’s Bermuda length. I might try to find another pair.

A: Sadly I think I’m sized out of those 😫

M:  H&M?

M: mAbYe!!!??

M: How I feel:

M: I just don’t think I can get away with shredded tissue paper shorts any more

A: The H&M pair look good

M: Agree

M: I know this will only end in tears but also looking at these:

A: Oh no

M: I know

A: All these 100% cotton shorts tho

M: Yeah I mean, I do like a full cotton jean even though they are a challenge

M: In the meantime, my Camper sneakers arrived:

M: They are perfect

A: Those are SO cute! 

M: So lightweight. 

A: I love them on you. They come in red too! Want. 


M: Verrrrry interested in these.

A: They’re men’s 😂

M: I was about to send that goddammit


A: Haaaa

A: Your curse: All good shorts are men's shorts

M: So rude

A: It is

A: The Internet is now serving me up a variety of men’s shorts

M: Just great


M: Oh good, cotton blend 😒

A: I think I saw those at Nordstrom and they looked thick and heavy

M: Exactly

A: Maybe... these:

M: It's been so long since I tried any bottoms for J.Crew that I am scared.

A: Same, but they look promising?

M: I am curious though.

M: Every year, right on schedule, I wonder if what I really want is a pair of Patagonia baggies

A: I tried on a pair in medium and couldn't get them past my hips so I am mad at Patagonia

M: Reviews definitely say to size up if you have any hips and ass whatsoever

A: sigh

M: This is 100% my inner college kid wishing I was one of those sporty girls

A: My inner college kid just wants leather jackets and Doc Martens

M: Also fair. 


M: Me: I don’t wear chinos. Also me: maybe I wear camo chinos?

A: Those are GOOD! And an actual adult inseam! 

M: Well I ordered them and a million other things because I am broken

A: Excellent

A: I want a full report 

M: Of course

A: I really want to order those J Crew shorts but I am waiting for a discount

M: I’m sure it will be soon

A: I just can’t fathom paying full price on J Crew

M: Hell no


  1. Have you tried Everlane denim shorts? I just got Everlane shorts in the mail and I love them. They have other fits but I got these:

    They are 100% cotton, so proceed with caution. The model wearing them has the hem rolled twice, it can unroll (and seems to stay rolled well, which doesn't always happen?!) one roll was a good length for me, like 4 inches or something.

    1. I quit Everlane after they fired half their staff last year for trying to unionize and blamed it on the pandemic (it was quite a story) but I do miss their t-shirts and I am afraid to check out the shorts because I'll want them too.

  2. Hear me out, but Bass Pro Shop always has some good shorts! Their private label brand Natural Reflections is actually really nice and fits my post-quarantine size quite well.

    1. I just...don't know if I can go this route but I will take a look. Thanks for the rec!

  3. I like the J Crew shorts - I could roll them to get that 5" inseam. I just ordered two pairs from Nordstrom, so we'll see. Wit and Wisdom, and Kut from the Kloth. I appreciate that Nordstrom gives you the leg opening, so you can tell if they will flap or not.

  4. Universal Standard released denim shorts, I'm eyeing them. They look good on the models and one is my model "twin" body type wise. I'm tempted by those.

  5. I have the opposite problem with shorts - by the time they fit my thighs, they are too loose in the waist. And I'm super long waisted, so I love a high rise. Have not yet found the right pair of denim shorts for me and have been wearing a Gap "super high rise" pair from several years ago but would prefer something with a little stretch.

    1. Good shorts are SO HARD. I feel your pain.

  6. There is for sure going to be a discount at JC soon- Memorial Day is coming