Wednesday, June 4, 2014

It's A New Month!

M: Now that it's a new month and I'm not torturing you, I can tell you that this is a VERY good dress and it's on sale! I have the royal blue and might get another. It's super comfortable and flattering. Possibly magical dress material:

Old Navy Sleeveless Shift Dress

A: I bought that! I actually bought it in April in the blue, but I haven't worn it yet for no reason I can figure out.

M: Dude. Wear it!

A: I think I've been saving it so that when I gnash my teeth at my closet and cry in despair at how much I hate all my clothes, it'll be there waiting. Also, it needs to be ironed.

M: Well that's a good plan I guess.

A: Ha, I need to just wear it. It's a good dress and the color is great. I am thinking about getting this one:

Old Navy Striped Jersey Shift Dress

A: My summer dresses from last year are looking REAL SAD.

M: Mine TOO. And nothing fits. I should try that Old Navy one. I tried this one on and the top straps both gapped open so you could see like half of my bra.

J.Crew Stripe Back-Zip Dress

A: I try to avoid even looking at JCrew because I just cannot with them.

M: I'm not sure what I was thinking. I went in there to look at swimsuits and they don't carry them in store. I did buy a cute t-shirt for $22:

J.Crew Drapey Tee
M: THEN I drank some wine and impulse ordered a swimsuit that I just noticed has ZERO boob support so that was a waste of time and money:

J.Crew Halter Wrap Tank

A: Are you sure it doesn't? Because if not, COME ON JCREW. STOPPIT. I can’t even fathom bathing suit shopping right now. I've so conditioned myself to not shop that I'm like a shivery pound poodle when I even think about going to the mall.

M: It just says "lined". I mean what the hell. But surely there are at least cups, right? RIGHT?

A: If there aren't you should take it back to the store and burn it on the counter in protest.

M: Well, I'll get my money back first, then yes. Fire.

A: #duh

A: I might hit up Ross this week and look for a couple of dresses. File Under: I hate myself.

M: Well good luck with that. TJMaxx was so full of awful that I was aghast.

A: I know. And you are a bad influence because a bikini just got added to my ON cart. I guess I can fathom it.

Old Navy Halter Bikini Top
Old Navy Triangle Print Bikini Bottom

A: Is this print funky-cute, or godawful?

M: Oh I think it's fun!

M: I feel old because I go to stores and I DON'T UNDERSTAND CLOTHES. I see lithe, gorgeous 18-year-olds dressed like this and I just want to DIE.

A: I just ordered the dress and the bikini and it FELT MAGICAL. Now I want to set things on fire because you showed me that outfit. Ye Gods, children! THE 80s WAS NOT IRONIC,  IT WAS JUST PLAIN BAD.


A: Tired now.


  1. I feel you. I'm going to Vegas for literally like 48 hours, and it has brought on a full-scale wardrobe crisis. And it seems like everyone is younger and thinner than me and also dressed both worse and better? I can't figure it out. I am no longer convinced of my own ability to dress myself in anything remotely reasonable. And to compensate, I just bought myself heels that are basically 100% of A's budget, and they may totally not even work, I seriously don't even know anymore.

    1. Every time I travel I freak out and feel like I need to buy All The Things. Good luck! (Are the heels you bought cute, at least?)

  2. I wish I hadn't seen the JCrew dress because the red one is what my dreams are made of. I tried the striped ON and it didn't work for me, mostly because it was short and I'm tall (and even the tall length was short sigh). But Gap has had some cute dresses for me this season! I gotta slow my shopping roll, I need to a. lose weight and b. save for a big trip I want to take. Love you ladies!

    1. Aw, thanks! I've got my fingers crossed for the ON dress.

  3. I didn't buy the ON blue dress the other day b/c so many of the reviews said it shrunk. . . has yours stood up to laundering?

    1. Ugh, I guess I'll find out.

    2. And to update: Mine shrunk like crazy. I now have an unwearable tunic. Thanks, Old Navy!

  4. I've had pretty good luck with ON swim suits, btw. Good luck! (I'm sure you'll keep us posted.)

  5. I seriously don't understand young women fashion right now. Gap is selling an acid washed dress and people are buying it. See also: Rompers.

    1. That acid wash dress at the Gap offends me on so many levels.


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