Wednesday, October 5, 2016

We Discuss Ancient Monk Creme Because That Is A Thing.

M: So I did a thing.

A: Oh boy.

M: Okay so. I've been at the beach and I came back to the apparent desert because it never rains here.

A: All the rain is here, my hair is a derptastrophe.

M: ANYWAY my skin is rulllllll dry. It's trying to annex itself from my body.

M: Like Texas.

A: Please stay! What did you doooo.

M: So I have this sample of La Mer.

A: Um, girl.

M: My skin likes it a lot.

A: Well, of course.

M: But PLOT TWIST buying La Mer was not what I did.

A: Oh shit.

M: I went on the innernet and read about La Mer...

A: This won't end well.

M: And everyone but J Lo was like nooooo not worth it.

M: BUT

M: Some people were like you know what you should try instead?

A: JLo uses La Mer like I use Aveeno lotion.

M: Right.

M: Don't get distracted.

A: Sorry! Continue.

M: Instead, you should by this Creme Ancienne from Fresh.


https://api.shopstyle.com/action/apiVisitRetailer?id=413993867&pid=uid9024-1592032-43

M: That is made in a monastery.

A: Heh

M: Maybe by monks?

A: Dude.

A: This cannot be a thing.

M: IT'S ANCIENT CREAM IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME.

A: IF IT'S SO OLD WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT ON YOUR FACE.

M: Like they pack it up with their little monk hands?

M: Maybe I confuse monks with Oompa Loompas.

A: Here is what I imagine:

Fresh: Hey monks! Can we bottle this creme in your monastery?
Monks: Um. Well…
Fresh: Wait! Can YOU bottle this creme?
Monks: …I guess?
Fresh: ka-ching!

M: I think it's probably more like:

Fresh: Hey monks! Can we buy your monastery and turn it into a factory?
Monks: ka-ching!

A: Hahaaa

M: JUST READ THE DESCRIPTION.

A: Dare I ask how much this monk creme (ew) costs?

M: You do not.

M: I did not buy the big size?

M: I'm not proud.

A: Dang.

A: But, uh, let me know if it works.

M: 

M: EMPEROR!

A: Monk hands up in your creme!

M: I'm sure gladiators had great skin.

A: Soft like whipped cream

M: 

A: 


M: I bet J Lo would have been an emperor.

A: Is she not already?

M: Prob

A: And seriously, let me know if it works.

M: Oh I will.

3 comments:

  1. I use Creme Ancienne from Fresh in the winter and it's the bomb. Super expensive or I'd use it year round.

    ReplyDelete
  2. that's a laughing my ass off emoj!

    ReplyDelete