Wednesday, December 15, 2010

In Case You Were Wondering What We Talk About.

Marianne: I know Tracy Anderson is evil but GODDAMN:



She looks like a million bucks.

Adrien: Yes, but that's because she doesn't eat.

Marianne: Right. I love food. I have to remember this.

Adrien: Plus! She is paid millions of dollars to look like that.

Marianne: Right! I have no dollars. I am getting paid no dollars to have a stomach like a mound of deflated dough.

Adrien: Totally! If someone wanted to pay me MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to be in a movie I'd gladly eat nothing but sand for a few months.

Marianne: Ooh, the sand diet. I bet that one works quicklike.

Adrien: You're full all the time! Also: cotton balls.

Marianne: Cotton balls soaked in water, if you're really hungry.

Adrien: On your cheat day you can soak them in broth!

Marianne: Don't be silly, moddle.

Adrien: Fat-free vegan organic vegetable broth?

Marianne: Are there calories in that? Maybe you can boil some celery in water. Is that broth?

Adrien: Um, yes? That is what vegetable broth is. Derp.

Marianne: Okay, boiled celery broth is acceptable, but still seen as a weakness in character.

Adrien: You're right. Maybe just water with lemon? Is lemon weak?

Marianne: Oh my god, lemon is a FRUIT! I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE REALLY COMMITTING YOURSELF HERE.

Adrien: Oh shit, that means lemon is basically CANDY. I just threw it away!

Marianne: I think I have to sit down. I cannot believe you eat LEMON.

Marianne: Just for that, no liquids for you for the rest of the day.

Marianne: And I'm taking away your sand ration.

Adrien: I'm SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW. You know so much more about nutrition than I do!

Marianne: Next time, ask yourself: does this taste good? Am I getting the slightest enjoyment out of it? THEN YOU SHOULDN'T EAT IT GOD.

The exception is champagne. Somehow moddles are always allowed to drink champagne. Cheers!

Adrien: Yay! I will soak my cotton balls in champagne! Can I have some cotton balls, please?

Marianne: FINE.

Adrien: THANK YOU.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. ya'll are SO funny :)

    More dialogue please.

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  3. I'm so glad you two are around to offer guidance and support!

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  4. But what happened to her face? She had some kind of work done that completely changed the way she looks, especially around the eyes and cheeks. Weird.

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