A: I pretty much want to wear this exact outfit for the rest of winter:
M: Yup. Perfect.
A: You know that goddamn awesome sweater probably cost $800.
M: It's probably BESPOKE.
M: Blame Gooper.
A: What would you call that neckline?
M: It's like a crew neck and a mock turtleneck had a baby. A really soft baby.
A: I tried to google "funnel neck grey sweater" but this is what I get:
I think I need some kind of secret rich-person-Internet coupon code.
M: Why is that sweater trying to eat that boy? And why is he so calm about it? I saw an episode of The X Files that was like this.
A: The sweater injected him with a paralyzing neurotoxin, of course. Duh, Marianne.
M: It's ALWAYS neurotoxins!
A: So, what's the magic coupon code that opens up the search for The Good Stuff? It's okay, you can tell me.
M: It's cute that you think rich people use coupons.
A: Stop pretending you don't understand what I mean. I know there's a secret Internet. I mean, go to Saks and look at the sweater section. THEY ARE HIDING THE GOOD STUFF FROM US.
M: Right, we plebes just get these effing leather shorts AGAIN, SOME MORE:
A: BUT THEY'RE ON SALE.
M: As are these, which are just. So. Um.
A: Oh. Oh wow. Goats died for those.
M: Goats! What did those goats ever do to anyone?
A: Apparently they pissed off J Crew. Maybe they chewed on the bubble necklaces or something?
M: They probably started protesting all of the cashmere up in there.
A: Wow, that backfired. Make waves, get turned into ugly pants.
M: I almost made some kind of Babe-related joke, but stopped myself just in time. You're welcome.
A: You know the goats don't die for the cashmere, right? They just get brushed real hard.
M: I'm sure they just LOVE that.
A: Maybe they do. Maybe goats get itchy.
M: Cashmere goats? They are insulted you would suggest such a thing.
A: What if I offered to brush them with a Mason Pearson?
M: I don't understand why I am thinking so much about the inner desires of cashmere goats
A: I don't either, but I suspect it's because you have figured out how to access the secret Rich People Internet.
M: Is this what Gooper is thinking about here?
A: YES. UGH.