Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fifty Shades of No

A: What is happening here?

photo: The Sartorialist

M: All I can say is the girls in the background ARE MY FAVORITE.

A: OH, they are so deliciously catty! They are us, basically.

M: The subject of the photo kind of looks like what I imagine Anastasia Steele to look like. And yes, I just went to Fifty Shades of Grey I'M SORRY.

A: I was like, "who is Anastasia SteOH COME ON."

M: Listen, I'm not proud of it.

A: I'm starting to think you kind of are.



M: I'm not going to stop until you read it too.

A: YOU ARE A PUSHER. I still haven't forgiven you for making me read Twilight.

M: Oh, WHATEVER. Now you're part of the cultural lexicon! And if you read it, we can cast Christian Grey! I submit:

A: That makes me want to read it even less x 20. Can we focus, here? Why is she standing like that? WHY.

M: Hmph.

A: Maybe the SHobbit asked her to "look shorter?"

M: "Shorter. No, SHORTER! Just lay down on the ground. Perfect."

A: Or maybe something is wrong with the dress? It's just such a weird photo.

M: There is something funky going on with the photo processing around her feet. Maybe she was actually standing in a puddle of pee? The girls in the background are all "Damn, girl."

A: I think you're on to something.


  1. It looks like she's levitating!

  2. oh, adding, not sure I'm feeling Christian as Christian (though he's lovely to look at). I was kind of thinking Henry Cavill, though I want him to be in everything, so I'm probably biased.

  3. I think she's silently trying to push the pointy backs of her elbow-bones through the front of her elbow-pits, if that makes sense (which it may only in my head).

  4. As a former Photoshop jockey, the first thing I saw -- and still the only thing I can see -- is the editing around her feet. Does he have some kind of promo deal with Converse? It's horrifyingly stark. I had to inspect other areas of the photo to see if she had just been pasted in or something. I don't know what was on the ground around her precious shoes, but it isn't exactly "street" to Photoshop the heck out of it.

    1. I'm no expert but it really does look like she's been pasted in.

  5. Adrien, stay strong on your resolve to avoid 50 Shades of Grey! Seriously, those are hours of my life that I will never get back! Consider me your cautionary tale. Save yourself!

  6. It almost looks like the shoes were pasted on over shoes she was actually wearing.

    And it's funny that you'd pick him as the actor, when I was reading the books all I thought about Christian Grey is "this guy is so American Psycho"

  7. I was thinking Cillian Murphy for Christian. And yes I read the books. I find the whole phenomenon of the book (housewives all talking about a BSDM-lite book in public) hilarious.

    This girl does have the Anastasia quality. And yes, those girls in the back are great too.

    1. Cillian Murphy is, I think, the only choice creepier than Christian Bale. YOU GUYS AREN'T SELLING IT.

    2. Cillian Murphy is WAY TOO TINY.

    3. And creepy! You forgot creepy.