Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fifty Shades of No




A: What is happening here?

photo: The Sartorialist


M: All I can say is the girls in the background ARE MY FAVORITE.

A: OH, they are so deliciously catty! They are us, basically.

M: The subject of the photo kind of looks like what I imagine Anastasia Steele to look like. And yes, I just went to Fifty Shades of Grey I'M SORRY.

A: I was like, "who is Anastasia SteOH COME ON."

M: Listen, I'm not proud of it.

A: I'm starting to think you kind of are.

M: YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

A: YOU KEEP MENTIONING IT.

M: I'm not going to stop until you read it too.

A: YOU ARE A PUSHER. I still haven't forgiven you for making me read Twilight.

M: Oh, WHATEVER. Now you're part of the cultural lexicon! And if you read it, we can cast Christian Grey! I submit:


A: That makes me want to read it even less x 20. Can we focus, here? Why is she standing like that? WHY.

M: Hmph.

A: Maybe the SHobbit asked her to "look shorter?"

M: "Shorter. No, SHORTER! Just lay down on the ground. Perfect."

A: Or maybe something is wrong with the dress? It's just such a weird photo.

M: There is something funky going on with the photo processing around her feet. Maybe she was actually standing in a puddle of pee? The girls in the background are all "Damn, girl."

A: I think you're on to something.

13 comments:

  1. It looks like she's levitating!

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  2. oh, adding, not sure I'm feeling Christian as Christian (though he's lovely to look at). I was kind of thinking Henry Cavill, though I want him to be in everything, so I'm probably biased.

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  3. I think she's silently trying to push the pointy backs of her elbow-bones through the front of her elbow-pits, if that makes sense (which it may only in my head).

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  4. As a former Photoshop jockey, the first thing I saw -- and still the only thing I can see -- is the editing around her feet. Does he have some kind of promo deal with Converse? It's horrifyingly stark. I had to inspect other areas of the photo to see if she had just been pasted in or something. I don't know what was on the ground around her precious shoes, but it isn't exactly "street" to Photoshop the heck out of it.

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    1. I'm no expert but it really does look like she's been pasted in.

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  5. Adrien, stay strong on your resolve to avoid 50 Shades of Grey! Seriously, those are hours of my life that I will never get back! Consider me your cautionary tale. Save yourself!

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  6. It almost looks like the shoes were pasted on over shoes she was actually wearing.

    And it's funny that you'd pick him as the actor, when I was reading the books all I thought about Christian Grey is "this guy is so American Psycho"

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  7. I was thinking Cillian Murphy for Christian. And yes I read the books. I find the whole phenomenon of the book (housewives all talking about a BSDM-lite book in public) hilarious.

    This girl does have the Anastasia quality. And yes, those girls in the back are great too.

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    1. Cillian Murphy is, I think, the only choice creepier than Christian Bale. YOU GUYS AREN'T SELLING IT.

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    2. Cillian Murphy is WAY TOO TINY.

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    3. And creepy! You forgot creepy.

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