Wednesday, November 16, 2011
M: Gwyneth is at it again. Damn it, I want bespoke cashmere things.
A: Eh. I bought her goddamn face brush. I have fed the Gwynbeast.
M: I think I just really like to say the word bespoke.
A: This reminds me of a ridiculous article I read in Vogue about Aerin Lauder's Aspen home and how simple and unpretentious it is. In the next paragraph they mentioned the cashmere-lined coyote fur rugs she has strewn about.
M: HOW IS THAT A THING.
A: I KNOW. I was all...
M: Okay. Okay. Coyote-fur rugs. Okay. CASHMERE LINED. WHY.
A: Because in Wildly Rich People Land even the drinking glasses are cashmere lined.
M: Cashmere lined toothbrushes! Cashmere lined soup spoons! I was going to make a joke about wiping their asses with cashmere but it's just too crass. Oops.
A: Haaa. I wonder what their cashmere sweaters are lined with?
M: Unicorn tears.
A: Wouldn't that be damp?
M: True...they rub unicorn tears on sun spots. Their cashmere sweaters are lined with beagle puppy ears.
A: Beagle puppy ears are the softest substance known to man.
M: Man, rich people are kind of mean.
A: Mean, but lined in cashmere.
M: So soft!
A: Soft like the devil.
M: I bet the devil smells really good.