Friday, November 9, 2012
Hot? Guys with Ink. Maybe?
A: I think we need to talk about the definition of "hot" here.
M: I just appreciate the effort is all.
A: The effort is good, but I cannot get on board with forehead tattoos. Or neck tattoos.
M: Forehead, no. But I feel like someone out there is rocking a neck tattoo and it is my job to find it. In the meantime:
M: For instance, I have NONE problem with this:
A: Eh. Neck tattoo. This? However? Yes:
A: But I had to scroll past 800 adorable gay dudes to find him.
M: Honey, he might be an adorable gay dude, too. I'm okay with that.
A: I'm pretty sure they're all gay but that is not really a problem.
A: But wait, how did he get included?
M: Oh, Chicken Little got some tattoos!
A: He's so little! His glasses are so big!
M: That...thing in his ear! Who finds him hot? He weighs 78 pounds!
A: I'm sure there's a teeny-tiny little hipster girl somewhere who wants to know his deep thoughts.
M: Unless she is 11, I don't buy it.
A: Haaaa. MEAN. Okay, I have a request:
A: Please stop with the ironic mustaches, boys. Get off my lawn.
M: That mustache makes me tired. If you spend more time waxing your facial hair than I do on my makeup, we have a problem. Nice eyebrows, though. Seriously.
A: They are! Very Justin Theroux.
M: Let's end with good looking, shall we? This guy has a Ben-from-Felicity thing that appeals to my inner 19-year-old:
A: I didn't watch Felicity (shut up) but I APPROVE.
M: ADRIEN. I am driving to Virginia this instant and we are going to pop popcorn and have a Felicity marathon. THIS INSTANT.
A: OKAY! SEE YOU IN SEVEN HOURS.
M: THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME.
A: WHY AREN'T YOU LEAVING.
M: I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY KEYS SHEESH.
A: HURRY UPPPPPPP.