Friday, November 23, 2012

In Which We Quit The Gym.


A: That StyleMint dress I was forced to buy is such crap. It's really thin and has big pockets sewn in right at the hip. WTF.

M: Oh what the hell. I am SO DONE with StyleMint. We need to be brave and quit them.

A: I want to quit! But they make you call them. On the phone.

M: I knoooooow. What if they transfer you to one of the Olsen twins? I am scared of them.

A: I think the twins are more scared of you than you are of them. Those girls haven't answered a phone in never.

M: I think you're confusing Olsen twins with field mice.

A: I don't think I am.



A: Now PLEASE show me where it says this crappy dress has big bunchy pockets.

M: NOWHERE. Nowhere does it say, OR SHOW, that!

I wanna quit the gym!



A: But... I won't have access to thin, poorly made, droopy t-shirts!

M: We need to do this. WE NEED TO QUIT.

A: EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IN HERE IS VERY DROOPY.

M: I WANNA QUIT THE GYM!

A: A PACT. WE BOTH CALL STYLEMINT AND QUIT THE GYM.

M: YES. YES WE WILL.


A: AHHHHH.

M: Skeert.

A: Hold me.

M: Dammit.

A: And by that I mean I'm on hold.

M: Are you really?

A: Being brainwashed by weird new age-y music.

M: Adrien, I am scared for you.

A: HAIL XENU.

M: Goddammit, I just knew this would happen.

A: DEACTIVATING. THERE IS NO CANCEL.

M: Sigh.

A: Can I interest you in an E-meter? Only $29.99 a month, whether you like it or not.

M: I don't know how it always comes back to Scientology, but there you go.

3 comments:

  1. I quit stylemint... the materials were crap, super thin and every thing was huge/drappy... I looked like a colored trash bag no matter what I wore... Just make the phone call.. it's worth it.

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  2. I just quit stylemint, too! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

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  3. I ROFL'd. Mostly b/c I had to quit shoemint. I wanted to return shoes and they said shipping was free, but there was a "restocking fee." Sneaky bastards.

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