Monday, September 8, 2014

Brangedouchebaglina


Mr and Mrs Completely Insufferable.

A: I didn't realize you hated Angelina Jolie the way I do! I am so HATEFULLY HATEY OVER THE WEDDING. HAAAAATE.

L: Personally, I think everything that they do publicly - buy a house, get another baby, PUBLISH THEIR WEDDING PHOTOS - is a deliberate eff you to Jen.

A: Butbutbut, Brad is the cheater! HE is the one that cheated on her with Angelina! WHY does everyone love them so much? I think Jen totally traded up with Justin Theroux. He is smoking.

L: I know!! He should show SOME level of couth!

A: Brad just strikes me as not very smart. I think Angelina jinxed him or something. Meanwhile:

Woof.

L: I am very conflicted because I feel like I might like Brad were it not for what he's done to Jen. I mean, Fight Club Brad Pitt in a pink robe? It's like he knows my Achilles Heel.

L: Though that Justin ain't lookin' bad. Not. At. All.

A: I actually loved Brad in Ocean's Eleven but I can't forgive him for being the world's biggest douchebag to his ex.

L: And like the IMMEDIATE family, when you know just know that he and Jen had a plan and a whole career-timing thing and *poof*! Gone.

A: Yeah, it was creepy. Also creepy: the Uterus Watch that Jen's been living under for years. You know what? It's really okay to not have kids these days and I wish they'd all leave her alone.

L: It is *very* ok! Especially with all that celeb money and vacation time? Are you kidding me? It's like they are wondering if she could POSSIBLY be satisfied with that life which is just beyond silly.

A: It must be so so sad, all those tropical vacations with her smoking hot man. How does she fill the days.

L: She probably cries all her tears right onto her daily-massage-therapist's shoulders.

A: Poor, poor Jen.

L: I feel for her.

A: *sad tear*

20 comments:

  1. I know I'm going to burn in hell for this, but I like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie together. Given my history (see: horrible cheating ex-husband), you think I would be all "Team Jen!", but I just don't like Jennifer Aniston. Maybe left over not-liking from hating her character on "Friends"? Hair jealousy? Who knows.

    Brad Pitt seems really happy with all those kids. And that makes me happy for him.

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    1. I agree that the kids have definitely made them both seem happy, which is cool. I just remember how insensitive he was when it all came out and *man* that left a bad taste in my mouth.

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    2. Blasphemy! Everyone knows that the Friend no one liked was Ross.

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    3. I didn't like Ross, either.

      Really, I think I only like Joey, Chandler and Phoebe. Mostly Chandler and Phoebe, but Joey with Chandler, 'cause they were cute together. What do you mean, they weren't a couple?

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  2. Even if you don't like Angelina - I think Brad is responsible for himself and his actions. But OF COURSE it has to be the evil woman that "jinxed him" (really, guys? You really wanna go there?)... sorry, I thought in 2014 we were past this bull.sh..t. Also about Jen - do you know what was going on? What these people think now? I don't think so. This is the private life of people you don't even know. How sad.
    This post is a pure hate post that screams "we're bored and jealous" - who on earth needs that? I don't, thank you. You don't have to be super nice and sunny all the time but at least write something that is not so personal, plainly rude and without any substance. Sorry but I just unfollowed your blog.

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    1. Have you, uh, read this blog before? It's meant to be snarky and not taken seriously. Of course we don't know celebrities real lives and of course Brad is responsible for his actions. I think they're both creepy cheaters but that doesn't mean I expect anyone else to share my opinion. And, yes, it's their private lives that they've lived VERY publicly, so I think it's open to commentary. Really, we've always been snarky about celebrities (seriously ALWAYS) so I'm not sure why this is a a surprise. Can't please everyone.

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    2. This is definitely was hateful for sport! In fact, I'd say all we said here is representative of the same kinds of conversations many people have while thumbing through gossip mags with a friend at their side. I don't feel guilty for a minute participating in the very heartfelt discussion about two people I don't know at all. I think it's just human. And to your point about the jinx, had Brad been the one married to Billy Bob and wore a blood vial 'round his neck, then I'd be saying Ang was the one "jinxed" by him. It's creepy!

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    3. I have, uh, read this blog before, yes. And I often enjoy snarky comments. But in this case I just didn't like it, for the reasons I stated. If I had a blog, I'd like to know why a reader has left. If it is only one, no problem. But in case it is more, the authors should at least know why. And thats why I left a comment.

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    4. (I also don't enjoy hateful gossip because I don't like the negativity. Fun and jokes, yes sure, but hate? Again, who needs this?)

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    5. I guess I was a little surprised that this is the entry that upset people - we've been way snarkier about the Sartorialist and Gwyneth Paltrow. Anyway, I stand by my opinion that they're awful, but I don't expect everyone to agree. And of course we're not looking to lose readers but this has never been a blog of sunshine and rainbows.

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  3. Another Team Angelina member here. On her days off, Jen suntans in tropical locales with that year's boyfriend/fiance. On his days off, Brad studies architecture and oversees the building of green and affordable homes. Even if Angelina didn't come into Brad's life, Brad & Jen's marriage wouldn't have lasted because there's a bit of incompatibility going on. Brad seems happy with his wife/kids/causes/career. Jen seems happy with her parade of hot dudes/causes/career. If she wanted a family, she could have adopted six kids of her own by now. Win-win!

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    1. I am losing this battle! Fair points. My main issue (aside from the cheating) is that he was super insensitive in a very public way after the split. When you live a public life that is just really unnecessary and cruel.

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    2. All fair points! And certainly people mature as they age (thank GOD!). At the end of the day, I think you're probably right: both are happy now and I am as happy for them as someone who does not know them at all can be. But I just can't shake the memory of the way the two of them found their way into they current relationship and I never forget it every time I see a pic of them.

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    3. One of the things that I had to learn (rather painfully and oh-so-slowly!) after the hideous break-up of my first marriage was never look back. I hope my ex-husband, his wife, and their children have a great and happy life. Because I'm having one, myself.

      It doesn't matter how things started out - you live in the present, and that is the reality you deal with. It is too bad our marriage ended so sourly, but it isn't too bad that it ended.

      Now I am totally mocking myself for getting all philosophical in a Brad-Angelina-Jen post! I could totally write an awesome Hallmark card about it . . .

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  4. Wow, lots of feelings about Brad and Angelina! I'm a recent reader, but I love the snark. Those two have always struck me as weirdly pretentious--like the friend that always seems to work into a conversation that that they don't own a television, or they drive a Prius...

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  5. Have never liked Jen. What has she done lately? She's a B list actress who gets A list attention. Not sure why. Still love your blog though! Who knew Jen vs Ang would be so polarizing!

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  6. I glad someone still hates the brangelina royalty as much as I do. Regardless of how you feel about the ex wife, Angelina did an interview about how their relationship started on that crap movie she and brad were on together. It's one thing to get in between a (shaky or not) marriage, but it's another to do an interview about it. That was a total eff you to jennifer. Jennifer aniston was nothing but classy about her side, imo.

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  7. i have no feelings about brad & angelina whatsoever except #teambillybob
    but i'm sort of stunned at the "i'm not reading your blog anymore" because of THIS? i mean...angelina?

    this is why we READ LGFTB. the snark. and the lip gloss reviews. let's be real...
    but this post was not hateful at all. am i missing something??

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  8. I just want to punch people who say "oh, I just can't stand all the negativity." You freaky goody two shoes! I suppose those anti negativity people NEVER gossip, go to church every Sunday, and never cut anyone off in traffic. I sure wish I was perfect too. Haha!

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