Creepers Gonna Creep.

source: The Sartorialist

A: Thank goodness the Shobbit managed to catch this moment.

L: #CasualBillowing

A: #SuperCreep

L: If he weren't so short as to make this a near-up-skirting, it wouldn't be as bad, buuuuuuut....

A: Oh, he can toooootally see up her top. 

L: He can, can't he?

A: He can probably see up her skirt too.

L: I was going to try to justify with something like, "It's Europe! They're not uptight about boobs!" But he's American.  

A: It's really more an issue of creepy Shobbit taking advantage of that moment to be creepy.

L: He is a pervy little troll, for sure.

A: HEY. You met him, right? Am I remembering that correctly?

L: I did! I stopped him on the street. He seemed like a terribly shy little gnome who uses his camera to talk to/stare at girls that would otherwise be way out of his league. Gave off a real sad vibe. 

A: *claps hands with delight*

Hem Hate-On.

A: This is NOT A FASHION THING:

image source: Trendy Crew

L: It's like all us short people have revolted!

A: Is she using her hems as shoes?

L: If it is indeed "a statement," how exactly are they not falling over all the time?

A: I mean, the rest of her outfit is INCREDIBLE and then...filthy pant hem slippers.

L: Agree! I was wondering what I was missing because I hadn't SCROLLLLLLLED down far enough.

A: But really. How do they not fall all over the place?

L: Perhaps there is some sort of hover-device concealed in all these too-long pants!

A: WELL NOW.

L: ADRIEN, YOU'VE SOLVED THE RIDDLE!!

A: Fashion people aren't so smart after all.

L: I'm buying hover shoes.

A: Do it. LET YOUR HEMS DOWN.

The Scrolldown Takes Manhattan.

**I lowered some prices in the blog shop and added something new. Check it out!**

A: Please explain what is happening here:

image: The Sartorialist

L: Hold on, I can't catch my breath from laughing.

A: "Hello? Yes? What is it? I'm in the middle of... something."

L: I think I've had dreams like this!

A: Right? It's like the dream where you are back in high school but wearing just underwear. Or muppet slippers.

L: Like I hope this Shel Silverstein poem is framed on his wall:

A: You know what? Maybe...maybe...no. Never mind. It's too crazy.

L: Go on...

A: Lili, maybe those are just his shoes.

L: NO! No? No. Yes?

A: I mean, he's outside. With a coat on. And it's cold enough for gloves. WHY WOULD HE BE WEARING FUZZY SLIDES.

L: If only he were Japanese I would think that he stepped outside to make a quick phone call and didn't remember to put his outside shoes on.

A: See, if he didn't have the coat and gloves, I'd buy that. But...no. I think those are his outside shoes.

A: PeeEss

L: Maybe he needs an outside hat to go with these.

A: I think the Fashion People would totally dig that.

L: I'm giving this outfit a soundtrack.

A: Well! That just made my day. #90sforever

Royal Babby!

A: I think we should name the new royal baby. How about: Princess Madisen Braylee Kayden Windsor.

L: Princess Fiona Pearl Ocelot Windsor.

A: Yours is much more English, I have to admit.

L: I think I may have subconsciously influenced by Princess Consuela Banana Hammock:

A: Completely understandable. But! If we want to go super English we should name her:

Princess Fionnula Imogen Codswallop Prunella Windsor.

Or something like that. Just a suggestion

L: Oh that's SO English! But is it possible to be a wee more Brit? Like HRH Beatrix Tea-and-Biscuit West End?

A: Well, that's just silly.

A: Also, it's not...normal for a woman to look so lovely and bouncy 10 hours after giving birth, right? There's witchcraft involved?

L: A. A stylist was involved. B. The best genes in the universe.

A: Oh, I know she has People, but still.

L: I think if you are a princess, you are magic. It's a job requirement.

A: Can we be princesses? I'd have to change my name.

L: I feel like you could keep yours! You just need to add three middle names to keep it regal.

A: Well, I do have two middle names and one of them is Camilla, so...

L: HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US?!

A: I'M A SECRET PRINCESS.

A: Oh, and spoiler alert, they named her without consulting us: Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.

I guess that's okay.

L: Son of a bitch. At least we were close.

A: We were SO close.

We Have Thoughts About Coachella.

L: As my husband astutely pointed out this weekend, I wasn't into what "the kids were doing" even when I was a kid, so maybe I was just born old, BUT: what the hell are the kids wearing at Coachella??

A: I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. SO MANY. Perhaps a list.

L: 1. If you're not a hippie in your non-festival life, you don't get to
be a hippie at a festival.

A: 2. High waisted jeans look good on exactly nobody.

L: 3. John Lennon sunglasses looked bad in the 60s. John Lennon sunglasses looked bad in the 90s. John Lennon sunglasses look bad now.

A: 4. Which reminds me: Sean Lennon. Can he be stopped? Please?

L: 5. Your butt is popping out of your short-shorts.

A: 6. Nepotism! It’s always in style.

L: 7. You are wearing too many accessories.

A: 8. How is Alexa Chung always SO G-D FLAWLESS.

L: 9. Zoe Kravitz: 100% cool gene inheritance complete.

A: 10. Katy Perry looks cute.

L: 11. You jack Jimi Hendrix's style, you're bound to look cool.

A: 12. Don’t hassle The Hoff! (What?)

L: 13. If you're a bro, you're gonna have a hard time looking "wacky."

A: 14.  Justin Bieber continues to fill me with nameless rage.

L: 15. You chill with Chris Brown, you're bound to make people have nameless rage about you.

A: 16. NO. I just got ragey all over again.

L: 17. All of you at Coachella are trying too hard. Stop making us mad.

A: 18. I need to go lie down.

We Are Not Fashion People.

source: The Sartorialist

A: Is there a more extreme word for scrolldown? Scrollnope? Scrollhorror? Scrollnoooooo?

L: She looks so lovely until you get to the hems.

A: She's even layering chunky knits like a boss! And then...womp.

L: OK, on the plus side? She is upcycling! (God I hope so, and simultaneously desperately hope she did not pay retail for those.)

A: Um.

L: Rachel Comey, WHY DO YOU HATE US?

A: THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS.

L: No, that makes sense. In a world where a downpayment on a small two bedroom apartment in NYC is $200K, that toooooooootally makes sense.

A: I am not thinking like a Fashion Person. I am also not layering chunky knits with a jaunty knit scarf.

L: But are you topping off your look with a hair-colored beanie?

A: And I don't know what bag that is but I want it. And her eyebrows. Not her shoes.

L: She does have effortlessly lovely brows! Let's just start over with her outfit from there.

A: I can't unsee those pants, Lili.

L: Straight outta dELiA*s!

A: #NOPE

L: I'll only go back to the 90s if I get my unappreciated, high-school body back.

A: Doc Martens were the only good thing about the 90s.

L: You know? Docs would've totally made her outfit better.

A: THEY WOULD HAVE.

Goops Wants To Know:

A: What's your budget for a spring jacket?

L: $0? Is that appropriate? Spring is a season that either gets a leftover winter coat or a sweater. Am I a child?

A: According to Gwyneth it's eleventy million dollars.

L: HA! [hold on, laughing so much] OK. Phewwwww. I mean, at least she threw in a Zara and a UniQlo for The Poors.

A: Super thoughtful of her. I'll bet she wears that $6,500 The Row coat to walk the dog.

L: That one is soooooooo Gwynnie.

A: She's probably using it to mop up a spill in the kitchen.

L: But is it organic, though? I don't think she could use non-organic.

A: Organic AND locally-sourced.

L: Totally. She'd never be an irresponsible consumer.

A: I mean, I know I'm not dropping $2,300 on a lace bomber jacket unless it's sustainable and gluten-free.

L: Who would?

A: Kim Kardashian might.

L: 

Really?

source: The Sartorialist

A: Really. REALLY?

L: I assume these are the back legs of a horse, yes?

A: Definitely hoofy.

L: OK, I'm going to have sympathy for a moment: I never get things hemmed because I'm lazy but also SHORT.

A: Do you let your pants drag on the ground all up under your shoes? Because this is an epidemic:

source: Trendy Crew

source: The Sartorialist

L: Sadly, I can't say I don't do that (more with maxi dresses than with pants). But I can promise you I am not making a statement by doing so.

A: I am abnormally concerned about the filthy hems of fashion people. I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU TOO.

L: I should probably also tell you that I don't launder my clothes as often as I should. Not even the floor draggy ones. And the New York City streets? Who knows what happens on them.

A: I am very, very bad about dry cleaning things, it's okay. I just can't stand the long-pants hoof. AND, it's distracting me from this disturbing trend:

source: Trendy Crew

L: Is that a.... sports bra.... under there?

A: I didn't even notice, all I see is her gigantic shoes.

L: No doubt going for that timeless, pre-spring 2015 look.

A: I'm already looking at Fall 2016. Pre-Spring 2015 is sooooo Fall 2013.

L: Ain't that the truth.

My Brain Is Exploding.

Hey! Anyone who was interested in the tiny pyramid stud necklace I reviewed last week, BR is now offering an extra 50% off sale styles with code BRSPRING. Yay!

--------------------------------

L: Cannot. Make. Brain. Figure. This. Out. How does bag work?

JumpFromPaper

A: I don't gettttt ittttt.

L: This is a far more important thing for us to figure out than the black/blue white/gold dress ever was. How.

A: Witchcraft?

L: I feel like I get it for a second when I see them holding the handles, and I LOSE it.

A: I can't see them real. NOT REAL THINGS.

L: I even tried going to look at where they sell them hoping to see something unzipped. And still, nope.

A: That makes it look MORE FAKE.

L: Yes! Like, these are Marge's handbags. (PS - don't google Marge Simpson. A disturbing number of Marge nudes show up.)

A: You know what's next, right? Pop-art clothes. People walking around looking like actual cartoons.

L: No doubt about it.

A: WAIT. Are the flat? Like leather envelopes?

L: Oh snap. Did you just figure it out?

A: Look at them with that in mind and it...almost makes sense. Mostly nope.

L: MOSTLY NOPE.

A: #IAMOLD


L: *receives AARP card with #GenX affixed*

Mind the Sartorial Gap. (Actually, I Do Mind.)

source: The Sartorialist

A: Someone should tell the Shobbit he's not actually funny. At all.

L: UGH! Why?

A: The fact that he even KNOWS the term "thigh gap" is highly suspect.

L: This is a man who definitely prefers all his woman to achieve unreasonable "standards" of beauty.

A: CAMILLA. THIGH CHECK.

L: WHERE ARE YOUR COLLARBONES, CAMILLA?!

A: CAMILLA, DO I SMELL GELATO?

L: NEGATIVE CALORIES, DAMMIT!

A: GIVE IT, CAMILLA. STOP HOLDING IT SO HIGH! DON'T MAKE ME JUMP FOR IT.

L: CAMILLA, I SEE YOUR NOSE HAIRS!

A: CAMILLA! YOU KNOW I CAN'T REACH THE FREEZER.

L: A man with such limits should be very careful where he treads with his "jokes".

A: He is definitely short on humor.

*high five*

Say "Palazzo Pants" Without Cringing. I Dare You.

Source: The Sartorialist

A: I am too old for this.

L: All I can think of is how dirty her pant cuffs must be. Clearly, I am too.

A: I just don't understand. HELP ME UNDERSTAND.

L: You need step by step instructions. First, you are what one can only assume is a tall, skinny Italian. Potentially, a Spaniard.

A: Of course I am! Next step.

L: Next, you don't give a second thought to layering chunky knits. These are prerequisites.

A: I...okay. I'm in.

L: Next: accept that brocade was in then out then in then out over the last 200 years, but that it is now decidedly IN. Get brocade palazzo pants. Give zero fucks.

A: I'm out.

L: I thought that might be where I lose you.

A: Palazzo pants! BYE BYE! 

L: Yeah....what really gets me is sweater upon sweater!

A: I just...assume her giant pants were expensive, so why not pay the extra $20 to get them hemmed?

L: Maybe we're so uncool that we don't even know that feet are out this season?

A: Gross. Feet are so 2014.

L: #FAS2014

A: #IAMOLD

Goopy Spring Picks.

Spring Picks

A: The lip balm is only $15 which seems like a screaming deal paired with the rest of it.

L: You know what I keep thinking for spring? Petal pink and a $900 cuff!

A: $180 cut off shorts seems like my jam.

A: Wait! The $650 shell print shorts. So much sense to be made there.

L: I mean, who would just cut off old, worn in jeans when you could PAY for brand new ones!

A: Just the thing to wear with your $1,300 blazer.

L: Only if you're going to wear your unicor....? bir....? waaaav...e? sweater underneath it!

A: Um, yes? Yes! Totally. And some kind of ear jewelry thing. It costs a lot.

L: OH GOD TUXEDO JUMPSUIT YOU ARE MINE!

A: I will fight you for it with the one-shouldered jumpsuit! JUMPSUITS FOR EVERYONE.

L: But wait. Are there any expensive shoes we can pair with our jumpsuits?

A: $400 sneakers work for you?

L: Mother of Pearl they are cute. However, I maaaaaaaaaay prefer $1,000 Monique Lhuillier booties?

A: Too girly for me. But I'll take the $685 stack of books. Wait.

L: Obviously. But only if those books only matter because of their dust jackets.

A: Which reminds me...

Von Trappin', Like We Do.

A: Thinking about becoming a nun? Gap has you covered.

1969 denim popover dress

Three-quarter sleeve pleated dress

A-line knit dress

L: I tell you what. You will make one foxy nun.

A: Like, Von Trappin' foxy?

L: Jawohl!! Maria would have an equal. I have to say, I kind of like the navy blue one and the gray one? Seem like they could be good staples!

A: I thought so too which is why I clicked on them but woe, the close-up pics. I'd have to do some pretty fancy accessorizing to not have them look dowdy.

L: I feel if they were made by a fancier retailer, the chances of the cut being good would be higher. But I feel like the Gap misses more often than they hit.

A: I can't even remember the last thing I bought at the Gap and it used to be a staple. I mean, that first dress. There's no excuse for that.

L: That first one is ATROCIOUS. It's for sad, misunderstood German artists.

A: It is the giant dad-shirt we wore in art class as a smock.

L: Yeah, that model can't even fake being happy about wearing that.

A: Her expression says, “’F’real? No, seriously. F'REAL?"

L: "You know this isn't going in my book."

A:  #moddleproblems

Leading By Bad Example.

***FYI: Lovely MBMJ tote in the shop! Price drop on fancy shoes!***

  A: Lili! Your mission: Read this whole thing without rolling your eyes out of your head.

L: I got exactly this far, "4:45 Wake up and have a bowl of quinoa cereal. I do an hour or so of 3rd or 4th series ashtanga yoga."

A: Oh, it gets so much better/worse.

L: Adrien, I like women. I would choose to spend time with vast majority of them over any man, pretty much any day. If I keep reading past the second woman who awakes with a prayer of thanks, I fear I'll hate all of us. Forever.

A: Actually, a couple of them seem normal and likeable and have to ask their kids to get up more than once. But you're right about this crap: "6:30 Wake up and express in prayer how thankful I am to have woken up that day because someone went to sleep that night and didn’t wake up."

L: OK, I went back in. And I was all, "OK, so this lady doesn't use her snooze button like crack like I do, but there's more than one way to skin a cat!" Then I read this and I rolled my eyes so hard they got stuck. "6:50 Make coffee (fair trade); microwave Zen Bakery muffin (vegan) First breakfast."  So I'm currently typing this blind.

A: WHY DID SHE NEED TO QUALIFY. If she'd just said coffee and a muffin you'd still be able to see. What is wrong with people.

L: Only person on this list that I could be friends with is Audrey Puente. I think she might be a real human being.

A: I liked her. Most of them? Robots.

L: Maybe they are just telling them what they think WE want to hear so that we avoid judging them. Which....didn't work out.

A: Yeah, I'm judging this: "6:43 Alarm goes off. No snooze. Pull on John Eshaya sweatpants and clogs."

L: I just had to google those sweatpants. They look like normal sweats with words on them. Am I not cool enough to even know why one would name drop those? I guess her clogs are just generic!

A: Why did she name drop her (vegan) muffin? Why is the sky blue?

L: Can we share our morning "routines"?

A: Oh, wait! The sweatpants are expensive. That's why. And yes, by all means.

Lili: 

6:32 - Alarms goes off so I can give myself the false sense of sleeping in when I snooze it til 7:36.
7:37 - Struggle to put pants, socks and shoes on other people.
7:48 - Pour (General Mills, non-organic) Cheerios into Ikea bowls. Encourage eating. Loudly.
8:11 - Start yelling, "Why does no one do anything without me telling them to? PUT. YOUR. COAT. ON."
8:12 - Shove children out door. Luxuriate in 2 minutes of tooth brushing alone time.
8:15 - Clean kitchen chaos. Make just regular coffee
8:16-9:16 Lose all time - don't know where it goes. Now I am late.

Adrien:

6:30 - Alarm goes off
6:35 - Alarm goes off
6:40 - Alarm goes off
6:45 - Lay in bed and check email on phone. Moan quietly.
6:50 - Make regular coffee and non-vegan breakfast.
7:00 - Eat and watch the news until the weather report at 7:20.
7:20 - Forget to leave the couch, drink more coffee.
7:30 - Shower.
7:45 - Hair, clothes, not those clothes, different clothes, hair, makeup, make lunch.
8:25 - Where are my keys?
8:30 - Leave for work (which starts at 8:30.)

A: Really, I have no idea why they didn't interview us. We're leaders, right? Blog leaders.

L: True American heroes.

More UGG Talk.

A: You bought UGGs. I bought UGGs. Let's talk about UGGs.

L: I got gifted a pair for Christmas which my daughter picked out. I will let you guess what they looked like before I show you what I exchanged them for.

A: Oooh, were they glittery??

L: THEY WERE! And also blue leopard print! Please note: never let the 7 year old pick out your UGGs. These are clearly the ones she wanted so she got them for me:

Heeeee.

A: Wow. I mean, I like shiny things and I like leopard print but those are A Lot.

L: That's a lot of things! Thank GOD they were a half size too small. And when I went to the store they "didn't have those anymore." So I got these with a zipper. Because I am lazy.

UGG Sumner

A: Ooh, fancy zipper UGGs! Mine are just the classic tall and they're like wearing bunnies on my feet. In a good way.

L: In the best possible way. I am perpetually cold-footed and these babies are like MAGIC.

A: It's actually a good thing that I can't wear them to work because I'd never wear anything else. Ever.

L: I have worn them a couple times to work because of the weather. And then forgot to change out of them into the shoes in my bag.

A: Oops. Well, that happens. I just love it when something is popular because of comfort rather than visual appeal. Except for Crocs. Those are just hideous always.

L: I admit I was a hater. But now I'm a convert because I love them the most. Have tried the slippers? I know you're budgeting now, but the slippers!!

A: I want the slippers real bad. REAL BAD.

L: They were the one thing I asked for for Christmas. And bless my mother-in-law for completing my cozy-footed desires. Not to undermine your financial goals, but they do last forever

A: I've got my eye on a pair on 6pm but I'm biding my time.

L: Oooh which ones?

A: The Scuffette. 

L: They are so good. That was the pair I had for almost 10  years. It's a durable, smart, cozy choice.

A: Enabler.

L: The worst kind.

A: Related: My feet are cold.

L: I think you might need to make a medical exception case for work [wiggles toes in sheepskin].

A: Mean.

Do These Pants Make My Thighs Look Chintzy?

A: Nothing says "nope" to the floral pants trend quite like this photo:

image: Trendy Crew

L: Oh no. I think they might've gotten me. I think...I think...these pants have won me over. Maybe it is the model just sellin' to me with that smizing(tm) eye!

A: Lili.

L: I'M SORRY!

A: They look turrible on her! And she's a model!

L: I think you might love them but be pretending you hate them. It's just like those boys in elementary school that one couldn't actually tell one liked, so one resorted to punching them (er...totally not me).

A: Those pants are everything I don't want to be. I like every other element of her outfit and then...floral womp.

L: I'm not saying I would actually wear them, mind you. But I don't hate them. Like how some chintz works out fine in the right British palace.

A: She's wearing a chair, Lili.

L:

A: That looks great! Not on my thighs.

L: That's so chair-ist of you.

A: I'm an unapologetic chairist.

L: I found your next cozy winter sweater.

A: It looks very flattering.

L: Do you need shoes to go with it?

A: I've always wondered what kind of person buys those shoe chairs. It's you, isn't it.

L: I only have two, one for each foot.

A: Well, obviously you'd need two.

L: Storage is a problem.

A: Oh, girl.

Chalmanzo Tater and Puppies.

A: I don't know what your feeling are when it comes to Channing Tatum but this email was basically the best.

L: THAT. Is. Amazing.

A: It's so immature and yet so adorable.

L: Completely. I mean, I don't know  - he might be dumb as a bag of rocks, but maybe not! - however he does remind me of a puppy. So sweet to look at.

A: Not to interrupt your mediation on Channing and puppies, but Marianne just sent me this:

A: IT IS BLOWING MY MIND.

L: I just had to google who that was. And then I fell down a historical hottie rabbit hole!

A: Oh, that is outstanding! HELLO STALIN. But wait, you don't know who Almanzo Wilder is?

L: I didn't! It has been been a long time since Little House on the Prairie!

A: I think I just assume that all girls were obsessed with the books (or show) at some point. Funny, I don't actually think Channing Tatum is all that attractive but Alamazo! Yup.

L: That was my sister's jam. Me? I was more of a Bo Duke kinda girl. (Who now looks like a baby in this  photo!)

A: My goodness his trousers are tight.

L: Yes they are. Yes. They. Are.

A: What? Shh. Looking.

Swinter Weather Wear.

L: Brown "vintage" leather drop-rise crop pants:

No, really.

A: Who is this? How did you get this email address?

L: What? You don't like leather diaper ass?

A: Well...they are on sale.

L: 40% off + 10% back with eBates. It's like they're GIVING them away! (Maybe they should just give them away?)

A: I can believe they haven't sold out yet.

L: I would very much like to see those pants on a normal height person -assuming the model is very tall (mmmmhhhhh) - and with someone with shoes that don't obscure the capri-ness of these pantaloons.

A: The most confusing part is how much they don't look like leather. Not even "vintage" leather.

L: Not even slightly! At first glance I thought they were silk. Which somehow makes more sense in my brain than leather capris. WHAT is the appropriate season for these, pray tell?

A: Sautumn? Swinter?

L: I think you're right. They're for Swinter.

A: On Mars.

Who Wore It Biggest?

A: Lenny Kravitz is… cold? Or did he shrink?

L: He's chilly! And he's cool. The man can do no wrong in my book.

A: I adore him but he looks like a crazy person. Does he think he's Pharrell?

L: No way. He's so much cooler than Pharrell it hurts. And I love it. Admittedly, he's walking an Olsen-twin line here, but I'm just gonna thumbs up anything he does fashion wise. Plus, Marianne TOTALLY made a scarf that big and gave it to me. Perhaps I'm biased?

A: According to the Internet he is a tiny person, but still. Maybe Marianne made him a giant scarf too?

L: Giant blanket scarves are the new Smokey the Bear hat.

A: I guess. I still think he looks like he shrunk.

L: I think I found the lady who knit it:

A: OMG.

L: Mad knitting skills.

A: *high five*

That Guy.

source: trendycrew.com

A: I found it! Proof that high rise jeans look good on nobody. Not even the super-glamorous.

L: Oh honey.

A: The coat is fabulous?

L: Agreed! And in theory I love black leather pants with it.

A: Yes! I think she's lovely and like the whole outfit in theory but those pants. Are. A. Tragedy.

L: Devil's advocate: she's capturing the 80's look remarkably well with those.

A: I really think her pants just don't fit her. It happens to the best of us.

L: You know I think you're right. Don't want to start a fashion war here, but this is what happens when men design women's clothes. "Oh, women go in here, and out here, and back in there! PANTS!"

A: LADY PANTS! DONE!

L: Whoever made the waist on those pants also made cap sleeves.

A: Oh, that guy. I hate that guy.

L: The worst. Probably also responsible for the midi, just FYI.

A: Oh, He DEFINITELY is.