Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A Half-Assed Birchbox Review.

I've been meaning to tell you guys about my September Birchbox since, um, September and now my October box has shipped and I haven't even told you about September yet. Terrible blogger. WORST BLOGGER. But I promise that there's a photo in this entry that will make it worth reading. Let's read on, shall we?



Here's a breakdown:

Perlier Body Cream
This was...fine. It's lotion and it's lavender-scented which is not my favorite.


Cynthia Rowley Beauty Eyeliner
I was excited about this until I realized it was silver liner. Not, like, shimmery gray-silver, but SUPER metallic silver-silver. I'm not sure I can pull it off but I should probably give it a try - might be nice in the corners of my eye? Any suggestions?  I do love the packaging.



Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish™ Hot Cloth Cleanser Starter Kit
This was the star of the box. It was a sizeable sample of cleanser and came in a cute blue box with a little muslin wash cloth! It's good stuff - a very good oil-based cream cleanser and unscented, which I really like. The muslin wash cloth has just the right amount of texture to be scrubby without being too harsh. I was pretty happy with this set.


Catherine Malandrino Style de Paris 
Perfume doesn't generally do anything for me, so I haven't bothered to smell it. (I am the worst.)



Dr. Jart+ Pore Minimalist Mask
Oh you guys. This was THE WEIRDEST. I got a package with one mask and it was this flabby, moist black...thing you're supposed to slap up on your face. Then you stand around for a while and let it do it's thing. You will look like this...


and your cat will hiss at you. It felt clammy and slimy and the bottom kept coming un-stuck but my face definitely felt nicer afterwards. When you pull it off you're supposed to massage the remaining serum into your skin and not rinse, but there was a LOT of serum still hanging around, so I blotted a  little. Weird. I don't know that I would bother to buy this but it was a fun experiment FOR SCIENCE. You're welcome.

Even though I don't always like everything in my Birchbox I do really like getting odd little beauty things in the mail every month. If you're so inclined to sign up, this is my referral link.

15 comments:

  1. I love your blog, I don't usually comment but the black mask..... I am dying. Thanks for making me laugh!! (In a good fun way, I love your commentary!) Why didnt they pick a cute color, or at least something neutral/clear?

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    1. I don't know! I guess because it's a charcoal mask? But it is definitely creepy.

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    2. We really need the reaction shot picture of your cat.

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  2. Totally worth reading if ONLY for the mask picture. That seems...awkward. I got the Cynthia Rowley eyeliner and also wondered what to do with silver. Found a tutorial online that suggested using it to line your inner lower eyeline (which I never do) and it is fabulous for that! Really opens up and brightens up your eyes.

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    1. I will try that, thank you!

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    2. I always worry about all that petroleum- and coal-based goop seeping directly into my eyeball. On the other hand, I guess SJP and Kate Middleton haven't gone blind yet, so... it's safe?

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    3. Ally, what's a little blindness if you're eyes look open and bright? WHERE IS YOUR DEDICATION.

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  3. I will go on record as saying that the Cynthia Rowley liner was surprisingly pretty. I used it like regular liner on my upper lid only even though it is NOT MY THING. I did a pinky Naked 3 shadow with it and I was quite happy.

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  4. Oh my god, that last shot totally made the review. You can't call it a half-assed review when you post pictures like that. You went above and beyond!

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    1. Anything for the laugh, pretty much.

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  5. Ugh, I wish I got a silver liner! I keep getting black eyeliners every month. I seriously have gotten like 4 in the past... 4 months? And I love colored liner. It was particularly weird when the liner they were showing online as "in the box" was neon green (it comes in all sorts of colors and is even called something that made it sound like it is always bright/colorful) and mine was... black. Anyway, I would probably wear silver eyeliner the same as I would wear any other color, but the inner corners or lower lid are definitely good ideas.

    I don't know if I got that mask or not, but now I totally want to try it! It looks hilarious and will probably totally freak out my husband. I definitely didn't get that cleanser, and it looks awesome.

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  6. I use silver liner to line the top and then go over it with black liquid liner. I like it. :D

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  7. DYYYYYING over the black mask. I have been going back and forth on Birchbox, but now that I know I can affect some sort of emotion in my stoic cat, I am in

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  8. Those stick-on masks are so creepy. And also huge--like, how big do they think people's faces are?

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