Tuesday, March 5, 2013

James Jeans Couture Skinny Review.

So, I've got this problem that has led me on a quest. I would like ONE GODDAMN PAIR OF JEANS THAT STAYS PUT. Just one, y'all. ONE. Every pair of jeans I own starts out where it should and then slippity-slides right down my ass until I'm forced to hoist them up repeatedly in a most unlady-like manner. I had high hopes for this pair (reviewed here by Marianne) but realized too late that I should've sized down. Even my everyday pair of bootcut jeans fails me. So when I read about James Jeans Couture I was super skeptical. They make some crazy claims. Oh, it's suction thigh wrapping, is it? And vortex waist contouring? Power denim?? OH YOU BET. Uh huh. WE SHALL SEE.

So I bought a pair of the Couture Skinny 1285 because they were on sale and I really wanted to see this shit for myself. They come in two versions - one with slight padding in the back pockets (no thank you) and "virgin" which is what I bought. I went by the size chart on the James Jean site and was slightly terrified by their warning:

"Couture styles appear smaller than regular James Jeans because they expand to mold your body in order to promote maximum hold and lift."

Um, great. Anyway, they arrived and wooooooo, they were not kidding. I had to shoehorn myself into these jeans. It was not pretty. But I got them on and wow, tight. But I persevered and gave them time to, um, mold to my body. And I have to admit, they did do that and were pretty comfortable. And that "suction thigh wrapping" thing is the honest truth - these jeans totally hold you in and don't bag out. See for yourself:



Bare feet! Sorry.
Booty.

Better with boots and a sweater.
James Jeans Couture Skinny 1285

I also really love the wash - very plain, very dark, very much all over my hands to the point that people kept asking about my circulation. (But whatever, this is what happens with dark denim.)

So you're probably wondering, "HEY. DID THEY SLIDE DOWN YOUR ASS? PLEASE TELL US." And you guys? Listen. They totally slide right down my ass. Please excuse me while I throw myself on my bed and cry.

29 comments:

  1. You need to get higher-waisted jeans. When they're just under your bra strap they don't slide anywhere.

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    1. Not true! All my jeans are mid-rise. I should not have to resort to mom jeans!

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    2. bani says: Mom jeans, Moooom jeeaaaannnss... hear their siren call!

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  2. Wear a belt? Meanwhile, these do look pretty hawt.

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    1. Ugh to belts. I might have to get one of those creepy invisible plastic jobbies.

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    2. dont bother with the creepy plastic belt - as ugh as a belt...but ah, well ...creepy. I got one, hated it...and it looked crappy after several wears. did solve the sliding issue...but for the effort may as well wear a belt you don't ming someone catching a glance of...

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    3. Thank you! The reviews are pretty bad. I'll just have to deal with a regular belt.

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    4. I hate belts, too, but have recently discovered that those ribbon belts the preps all wore? Are at least not at all bulky, so they're not bad if you need to tuck one under a sweater.

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  3. My favorite product review ever. :-)

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    1. Yes! Ditto!! You made me truly LOL. But have to say those jeans make your tush look splendid! :-)

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    2. Why, thank you! (Do your deadlifts, kids.)

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  4. Padded. Pockets? I...I don't understand. That said, these look great on you and I love that they aren't baggy in the knee, which is my #1 denim issue. As far as the ass slippage, I've decided if jeans have stretch, you will have to hitch them up. Period. Annoying, but true. So clearly you need to try some raw/selvage denim for us, I mean for science.

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    1. Oh! Is stretchiness the problem? That sorta makes sense...

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  5. They do look nice on you! But I know the whole slippage thing well--I end up feeling like a blasted plumber by the end of the day. Not.pretty. This is why I gave up pants for skirts/dresses. Basically, the modern pant/jean is designed for a man (i.e. zero hip-waist ratio) and thus will never stay up properly on a woman with, um, proportions.

    That said, you could try some vintage high-waisters (think Katharine Hepburn) from HeyDay or another etailer. http://www.heydayonline.co.uk/default/womens-clothing/ladies-trousers Just a thought.

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    1. Well, once it warms up I pretty much ditch the denim for skirts/dresses, so not a big deal.

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  6. Seriously? I thought I was THE ONLY ONE! I am so relieved to know others are suffering from the jeans-slide. I go up a size. I go down a size. I go stretchy. Nothing helps.

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  7. Thanks for the honest review! I was waiting with bated breath as I read, poised and ready to throw money at the computer to get my own pair if they worked out for you because I have the same problem. I'm also anti-belt and feel that jeans shouldn't need a belt if they fit right, which of course they hardly ever do.

    I'm new to designer denim, but so far I've had pretty good luck with Kut from the Kloth jeans as long as I buy them small enough. I'm normally a 16 in pants, and the 12 I have fit well without too much sliding around and yanking up throughout the day. Since getting those, I made the mistake of ordering two 14s, and nope. Those are all sorts of slidey.

    Good luck with your continued search!

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  8. Oooh, I read padded butt, all excited. I have no butt and thought that's why my jeans keep sliding off them. LOL. I guess the "I have a load in my pants" look will be mind forever!! Now that's true love...right? Ha. You do look great in the jeans. Shame it didn't perform the ultimate magic of staying put. Sigh....

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  9. I'm glad I'm not the only one... High rise, low rise, mid rise - all that sh*t slides on me. I don't know if it's because I lack a legitimate booty or what. I'm always tied to a damn belt. :-/

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    1. I have a legitimate booty and it makes no difference. It's the stretch. Stretch is a blessing and a curse.

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  10. maybe you need to go commando?

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  12. I have found Madewell jeans hit me in the right spot to avoid slippage - not so low that they have nothing to hold them up, and not so high that they're officially high waisted.

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  13. Lucky Sofia Skinnies have changed my life. Not a huge fan of the pocket detailing, but for the fit, I'll live. And I've got a booty.

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  14. Did you get your usual jeans size in these?

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    1. I did, yes. I could've sized up one, but not down.

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