Monday, August 15, 2016

In Which We Find Our Sport.

Last night Marianne and I watched The Great British Bake Off and the Olympics at the same time. Highly recommend. Here's the condensed transcript. 

A:  I sent you the link for the Great British Bake Off, yes? They're all on YouTube.

M: Oh, right! Is gymnastics individual events on tonight?

A: It's diving right now, but yes.

M: Bake Off! First season I'm so excited.

A: I've watched a few episodes of S1. I like the current format better, but it's still great. (the jeans are still terrible, no worries about that.)

M: Bake!

A: BAAAKE!

M: Okay already ditched S1. There's a lot of interviewing historians about the history of cake.

A: The historical segues are snoresville.

M: I figure S2 will be better because they have a rhythm. Oh hey Rob:



A: WUT. HE BETTER WIN.

M: Right??

A: I don't care if he can bake shit.

M: NEWP

M: Oh dear he's a dumbass.

A: Disappointing.

M: He's a photographer who dreams of being a baker?

A: Oh shut up.

M: He's making horrible sounding licorice cupcakes.

A: Grey batter. Kill him.

A: I love how quickly we turned on him.

M: Hahaha. Fickle.

A: A pretty face only gets you so far. Lemme know when gymnastics is on.

M: OK. How did Rob nail that Battenburg??

A: Black magic.

M: Ugh, history.

A: I love that we both hate the history segments.

M: If I wanted to learn I'd go to school.

A: I just laughed so loud I scared the cat.

M: Oh nooooo! Rob dropped the cake.

A: He’s crying.

M: Now i feel bad. His stupid jeans tho.

A: Terrible Denim Choices is the theme of this entire series.

M: Oh men's gymnastics!

A: I think men should have to dance on floor.

M: Diego gets a little twirly.

A: Yes! Twirl!

M: Frolic. Aw buddy! I like him.

A: Commercial! Bake.

M: I love how Paul loves Mary.

A: Ultimate good cop/bad cop.

M: He's such a silver fox.

A: God, yes. I'd hit that.

M: Oh no, Ben is singing. Stop. Oh God.

A: Shiiiiit. Secondhand embarrassment.

M: I’m so uncomfortable. GYM!

A: Hellloooo Max!

M: Tiny Brit.

A: Twirl!

M: Twiiiiiirl!

M: BAKE. Lemon tart. Gimme.

A: YAS. Delicious.

M: GYM. Boys should have to wear glittery leotards.

A: Yes Pls.

M: Haha Kenzo. Dat hair.

A: He has brought shame upon his country. Poor cutie.

M: Much shame.

M: Oh, Diego.

A: Oh, honey.

M: I can’t handle him crying!

A: Diego is the best.

M: I love people who are just so excited for ANY medal.

A: DIEGO! DIEGO!

M: DIEGOOOOOOOO

A: THEY ARE FALLING OUT.

M: And Arthur! I’m dying. I’m dead. This is everything.



A: YAAAAAAY

M: Oh my gosh. Favorite Olympic moment.

A: Best ever.

M: BAKE. Rob is redeeming himself.

A: He is, but Ian is my favorite. Hugh Grant's gay cousin!

M: Love that man. GYM. 41 year old gymnast!

A: She is so great. I'd be mad about that pink leotard, tho.

M: I COULD STILL BE AN OLYMPIAN

A: #DUH

M: Ugh, shut up Al.

A: "Somehow her 41 year old knees made that." Hate him.

M: HATE. Okay, BAKE.

M: Fucking pastryyyyy.

M: Oh god Rooooob.

A: I am dying. He burnt it.

M: He’s a disaster. I was just distracted by his hair.

A: It's his only strength.

M: ILU PAUL. GYM.

M: You know Gabby kind of hates Simone.

A: Oh, she does.

M: Maybe not kind of. Like a lot.

A: Poor Gabby. Simone makes it look too easy.

M: BAKE.

A: Ha, we are killing it.

M: Best life.

A: Totally.

M: If you aren't alternating Olympics and baking you are missing out.

A: Baking as a sport.

M: Baking Olympics.


2 comments:

  1. Loool. As someone recently forced to see some British Bake Off with my mom and long time gymnastics fan (Dena and I pretended to balance beam the entire summer after Barcelona 92...basically it involved a lot of tipping our chin up and elaborate hand movements followed by dismounts...from flat ground) I find this very hilarious :) love it y'all.

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