Tuesday, April 10, 2018

We Discuss: That feeling you have in your body right now? That’s sugar!


A: I am breathless.

M: I'm impressed you could read that whole thing.

M: Not that you can't read, but it's just insufferable.

A: I was virtually eating popcorn waiting for the next incredibly ridiculous thing.


M: "That's sugar!"

A: Shhhh, I'm meditating on my $2,600 amethyst-infused BioMat.

"If I’m teaching an early Class—I am a big fan of morning workouts before eating—I take 100 milligrams of L-carnitine, a type of amino acid. I take it on an empty stomach before working out. It transports fatty acids into the mitochondria so they can be used as fuel."

A: Oh. Of course it does.

M: I missed the part where she is a chemist.

A: I mean, she's busybusybusy. She just forgot to mention it.

M: "THAT'S SUGAR!"

A: Hahahhaaa

A: I wanted to see what this CLASS business was all about. Apparently it's just jumping up and down in a studio.

"This Class invites students to witness their resistance to discomfort."

M: Oh my god this is like The Emperor's New Clothes of exercise.

A: First rule of the Class, do not question the Class.

A: I am cracking up reading the class descriptions. One of them sounds like you just stretch and sit quietly for 20 minutes? That will be $35, please.

M: I swear if you're skinny and rich people will pay you money for anything.

A: It is certainly very GOOP

M: THAT’S SUGAR

7 comments:

  1. There are no words...thank you for sharing this gem.

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  2. I stopped when she said, "I ask my girls [who look to be 4 and 6] to get dressed and then I meditate." Because of course her children go and get dressed all by themselves in perfect outfits. Mmmm, a raw pumpkin and chia seed smoothie! Yes, please!

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  3. I’ll bet her *real* morning routine is a microwave hot pocket and Keurig coffee with hazelnut flavored creamer, checking email on her phone while her kids eat bowls of Lucky Charms in front of the TV.

    ReplyDelete