Monday, December 7, 2015

The Tyranny of Pink Dresses.

M: This dress doesn't look like much but I saw it on someone and found it kind of charming and I DO NOT NEED A PINK FLUTTER SLEEVE DRESS.

A: I think that color would look really pretty with your complexion I AM SORRY.

M: Let me list the reasons I do NOT need a pink dress:

1. I don't wear pink.
2. I don't like ruffly things.
3. Those sleeves look like they would make coats complicated.
4. Reasons.
5. Things.
6. Shut up.

A: The sleeves are a problem. And ruffles. But that color is good and you know I don't generally do pink.

M: Look how happy the model is to be wearing that dumb pink dress that I like.

Banana Republic Flutter-Sleeve Dress

A: Bitch is eating crackers in that pink dress.

M: Well now I want crackers. THANKS.

A: CRY FOR HELP.



M: WHEN WILL THE PEA AND COTTAGE CHEESE LOBBY STOP WITH THEIR TYRANNY?!

A: Laughing too hard to tyyype.

M: That's what they want. Big Pea and Big Cottage Cheese are waiting until you let your guard down.

A: Like, literally anything would be better on a cracker. Overripe banana and dust shavings.

M: I just gagged, so bravo.

A: Hang on, there's someone at the door.

M: IT'S A TRAP.

A: Sorry! It was nothing. I'm off to whip up a delicious pea 'n cottage cheese smoothie! TTYL.

4 comments:

  1. Big Pea and Big Cottage Cheese. Snort!

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  2. But but but ... MINT GARNISH!!!!

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  3. i love me some triscuits but peas and cottage cheese (and mint???!!!) made me legit gag. And then I snort laughed at "Big Pea and Big cottage cheese" and I'm just a mess over here now!

    ReplyDelete