Friday, September 9, 2011

Hotness Downward Spiral

M: Do you know what we should probably discuss? What the ever loving HELL happened to Jude Law?



A: Oh, Jude, buddy. What happened? Remember when he looked like this?


M: I know! I mean, what the hell. Is Sienna Miller a succubus? I'd like to have a moment of silence for this guy.




A: HI THERE:




M: Good gravy! And before people accuse us of just not liking him now that he's balding. I have NO PROBLEM with bald men.



A: Yep, that's not a deal breaker for me either. Something...happened to Jude. He just went creepy one day.

M: Sienna Miller is sucking his life force out of him. This is seriously like something out of True Blood.

A: She's a hotness vampire! With a perfect nose!

M: It's like The Picture of Dorian Gray, except with highlights and artfully tousled hair!

M: Now I am watching Alfie, and I swear he meets her and you can see the handsome being leeched right out of him.

A: I think there is more to blame here than Sienna. It really happened right around the time he cheated on her with the nanny. I mean, JUDE. Really? Then! He blamed it on her.

It's like he didn't want to be hot anymore.

M: The universe definitely doled out some justice there.

A: Farewell, Hot Jude. I don't think you're coming back.

M: No, you can't rebound from this sort of thing. See: Kilmer, Val.

A: Yeah. What happened there? He was so very hot for, like, ten minutes.

M: I'd say some definite deal-with-the-devil-gone-bad action:



A: Oooh, or maybe the Scientologi...

Hold on, someone is at the door.

M: ADRIEN?

A: :::::::::::

M: I swear, give me just ONE WEEK where I don't have to save you from a cul--oh, there's my doorbell!

4 comments:

  1. Also on this list? James Spader. Dude? Just a few years ago in Secretary you were smokin' hot. What happened?!?

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  2. Bald is not a problem in general, but he'd probably look really horrible (or rather, as bad) if he shaved it all off. I'm thinking under those remaining wisps of hair lies an oddly-shaped pinhead.

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  3. I think he also is maybe a bit too thin. Thin people don't always age as well.

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