Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Purple Drank.

M: Gwyneth is pretending she drank Bartles and James in her youth on Twitter. It's adorable.

A: She is Gwyneth from the block.

M: She's just folks.

A: I'm surprised she hasn't done a GOOP in which she tries to convince us that some $800 bottle of sparkly wine reminds of her of her good ole B&J days.

M: Duuuude, this Chateau d'Yquem totally reminds me of putting Jolly Ranchers in my Zima! Ah, good times, good times.

A: Leggings as pants! She is totally just like you and me! If you and me wore LEGGINGS AS PANTS:

M: I am not going to lie, if I had her figure I would probably just walk around naked all the time? Especially with Mark Ruffalo.

A: Seriously, right? She looks great there and he is also yes.

M: Sometimes I think I was meant to have my not-perfect figure (which OH MY GOD, I know is totally FINE and I LOVE MY BODY and BLARGH), because my brain won't allow for common decency otherwise.

A: I totally understand. Ten years ago I was a size two for about five minutes and I wore the MOST inappropriate things.

M: It's really for the best that I was at my thinnest while grunge was still a thing. I did get pretty tiny around my wedding, but I was all wrapped up in that and never really took the opportunity to see what pasties feel like.

A: Pasties? What?

M: I don't know, man, the universe works in mysterious ways.


  1. ahaha I totally agree. If I had a different (aka more socially-approved, super thin) figure I would dress all kinds of inappropriate. I don't think I would wear pants. Ever. So it is really a good thing for my own reputation that I have to dress around my (admittedly totally able and completely fine) body.

  2. Hey Ladies,

    I just had to comment... (;
    I am size 0 and tall and I always wished to have curves (and wear pants - it's impossible to find non-designer jeans like pants which fit someone with minimal hips) like a "real woman"! I look at your pics and think I wish I was more like that! There really is no winning in this game (;