A: I'm pretty sure she's got it all represented here.
M: Those shorts. THOSE SHORTS. ThOsE ShOrTs.
A: I think hiking them all the way up and belting them really brings out the pleats.
M: I would say something about FUPA but it's just not proper.
A: Those shorts are. UP. IN. THERE. Yay fashion!
M: I think that belt is working as a bra.
A: Do you think she has a checklist? Like:
1. leather shorts. Check.
2. FUPA. Check.
3. Giant belt. Check.
4. Statement Bag. Check.
5. Leopard bootie shoe things. Check.
6. Ombre hair. Checky check check, bitches.
M: Don't forget:
7. Red lipstick. Check.
8. Arm party. Check.
M: Also, I, um...like her hair.
A: Oh, her hair is definitely pretty, it's just a lot of trends all at the same time. Really, the shorts are The Issue.
M: Those shorts are a war crime. Obama just ordered their evacuation. God, I don't even know what I am saying any more.
A: Ugh, again? I just got comfortable.
M: Don't Google leather shorts. Just...don't.
A: OH MY WORD.
M: I had to stop before I get fired from LIFE.
A: I just got word: Obama has fired you. Please leave.
M: Damn it, THERE GOES MY VOTE. And I am allergic to the Tea Party, so what now? Why is this a political blog now?
A: I LIKE PRETTY THINGS. BAGS. CLOTHES. STUFF. LA LA LA
M: God, THANK YOU. Let's get back to the important talk about how the Twitter says I should do this to my hair. The Twitter is a bad influence.
A: Girl, do not ombre your hair. You will be full of regret.
M: But but but!!!
A: You have beautiful hair AS IT IS. Trust me on this.
M: Surely you aren't suggesting that the Internet would lead me astray?
A: The Internet lies ALL THE TIME.
M: The Internet just told me that Tony Danza died!!!!1!
A: Wait, did he ombre his hair? SEE.