Tuesday, August 22, 2017

We Discuss Everlane Stockholm Syndrome.

A: Everlane's new cotton sweaters look like something from Old Navy that I accidentally put in the dryer.

M: Cotton sweaters are kind of bullshit. Those cotton sweaters are extra bullshit.

A: Right? They make me sad.

M: But kudos to Everlane for convincing people that already faded and shrunk sweaters are something they want.

A: Boxy, faded and shrunk is the new chic.

M: I mean, bravo. That said I really am going to have to try the wide leg crops so I can know that they are awful for sure. What is my problem.

A: I want to believe. Do it for science.

M: I 100% promise you they will be godawful on me but apparently I can't rest until I see for myself.

A: Now I want them too. I'm so suggestible.

M: Even better--I kind of want the ochre/baby poop color.

A: Marianne.

M: You don't know mah life.

M: But seriously, color aside, reading the reviews and seeing so many people that wear my size loving them just makes me want them more. All the pictures only show size twos so I was suspect.

A: Hey, I have Everlane Stockholm Syndrome because I still want these boots even though I know better:

M: I am a Wearer of Weird Shoes and those bum me out.

A: Ugh, thank you. I don't know why I can't quit them.

M: They would be a big departure for you! Maybe we both need to try and review. This is how a no buy works right?

A: Oh. Huh. Yeah, we're doing that right?

M: Riiiiight.

A: I mean, we talked about it.

M: Talking counts, right? Also effff yoouuuuuu:

Nice pants but too big

I like these pants but I wish they had a smaller size. The 00 is a 26' waist. Usually 00 is a 24' waist. Also, I'd prefer them without the stretch, but maybe that's just me.


M: Like, I am all for body positivity and whatever but WAH MY 00 PANTS ARE TOO BIG just stfu.


A: And because I have the attention span of a gnat, I've already moved on to wanting these:

M: No judgement.

A: I love both pairs of Madewell boots that I own. I rarely love anything Everlane sends me except for the v-neck tees. I am trying to learn from mistakes, here.

M: Ah those are pretty. I never consider olive shoes because I wear olive jackets so much and that seems too matchy? I'm complicated.

A: That's a good point, but wouldn't stop me.  I also want a leather jacket but le sigh.

M: All this talking about fall is making me sad.

A: It's inevitable. We should just eat our cilantro corn salad and try not to cry.

M: I'm just not ready.

A: Summer forever.

M: I'm 30 pages into the Everlane Pants reviews and ready to buy two pairs in two different sizes and colors.

A: Which two colors?

M: The black and the ochre shut up.

A: The ochre is growing on me.

M: Okay, two pair of pants, two colors, two sizes, ordered for science.

A: Yay for science! PLEASE REPORTS BACK.


  1. I really like the ochre, but I'm 5'0". Those pants would be tragique on me.

  2. So speaking of Everlane - they're currently trying to make these a thing: https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-street-nylon-fanny-pack-emerald?collection=womens-newest-arrivals

  3. I used to love everything I ordered from Everlane, and still have a few of the original tanks and sweaters, but yikes, wtf happened? I miss the old Everlane, before it became the Sister Wife Shoppe and Emporium.

  4. I love the Everlane T shirts too! I also got a swing trench jacket which I love except it doesn't fit me, so woe is me. Otherwise, I find myself putting things in and out of my shopping cart. Like their new block heel, elastic back shoes. LOVE or so I think.


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