Friday, February 25, 2011

Planet Lanphear.

A: I want to live in this magical land of super-high-end handbags and Kate Lanphear:

                                 photo: http://streetfsn.blogspot.com

M: Are you sure you don't already? Check under your desk.

A: I got all excited but there's nothing under my desk except dust and sadness.

M: Look under the pile of mail. I feel certain there is some Balenciaga under there.

A: NOTHING. JUST MORE PAPER. I'm pretty sure those bags aren't made of PAPER, MARIANNE.

M: Kate Lanphear totally has a fierce Celine paper bag that you'd cry over. Just saying.

A: There is so much blasé bag porn in that one photo that I'm surprised the camera didn't explode.

M: I'm more surprised that YOU didn't explode, frankly.

A: I almost did, but the Lanphear is just so collected, I didn't want to disappoint her.

M: She wouldn't even raise a perfectly manicured eyebrow, it's true.

A: She's very Busy and Important. Not to mention COOL. Argh.

A: I think the band Cake probably writes songs about her, but she doesn't care.

M: Seriously. Her hair is like the polar opposite of my hair. So sleek and perfect and I'll just be over here shaving my head.

A: I've considered it, but that is some advanced hair she's got. I mean, come on:



Who else would be able to rock this? Nobody, that's who.

M: I feel like you could do it, but it's a major Styling Commitment.

A: I think it's a tough look to pull off and I'm probably about ten years too old for it. Still.

M: How old is Lanphear, though? I'm not saying you should do it, but I don't think you are too old!

A: I don't know. 30? 40? 20? There's no saying.

M: The correct answer is: Time as we know it doesn't apply to her.

A: Ugh, see?  I cannot begin to play her games because I don't even know her rules.

M: I think she is from the same galaxy as Cate Blanchett.

A: I want to live there. Can we live there? BECAUSE I WANT TO. REAL BAD.

M: I just want to breathe the air. Okay, and maybe get one bag.

A: Does it rain Birkins there? Also, I don't think Lanphear wears any makeup at all. And she looks flawless.

M: Well now I just hate her.

A: HEY. YOU BETTER STEP OFF.

M: Smug bitch.

A: IMMA CUT YOU. HAIL ZENU.

M: So undignified.

A: Hey, you don't see me badmouthing your Giovanna, do you?

M: Fine. She's perfect with her perfect skin and perfect hair and GOD I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE WEEPING.

A: See? See what happens when you scoff?

3 comments:

  1. "Time as we know it doesn't apply to her." SO TRUE!

    So many lol's in one post. Oh man you guys slay me. And I think Adrien could ROCK that hairdo but I also think it would be a styling commitment that I know I couldn't personally handle.

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  2. Yeah Adrien! You totally could rock that do! Only one picture existed of me with that exact cut in high school and it went missing. It was black though. I absolutely loved it. It was the easiest cut to take care of, just had to trim the back a lot. With fierce hair like that, you can wear a potato sack and still look chic!

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  3. Adrien, you would look great with that cut. I gave myself the same one in the 80s and I seriously had to do nothing to maintain it.

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