Friday, February 25, 2011

Planet Lanphear.

A: I want to live in this magical land of super-high-end handbags and Kate Lanphear:


M: Are you sure you don't already? Check under your desk.

A: I got all excited but there's nothing under my desk except dust and sadness.

M: Look under the pile of mail. I feel certain there is some Balenciaga under there.

A: NOTHING. JUST MORE PAPER. I'm pretty sure those bags aren't made of PAPER, MARIANNE.

M: Kate Lanphear totally has a fierce Celine paper bag that you'd cry over. Just saying.

A: There is so much blasé bag porn in that one photo that I'm surprised the camera didn't explode.

M: I'm more surprised that YOU didn't explode, frankly.

A: I almost did, but the Lanphear is just so collected, I didn't want to disappoint her.

M: She wouldn't even raise a perfectly manicured eyebrow, it's true.

A: She's very Busy and Important. Not to mention COOL. Argh.

A: I think the band Cake probably writes songs about her, but she doesn't care.

M: Seriously. Her hair is like the polar opposite of my hair. So sleek and perfect and I'll just be over here shaving my head.

A: I've considered it, but that is some advanced hair she's got. I mean, come on:

Who else would be able to rock this? Nobody, that's who.

M: I feel like you could do it, but it's a major Styling Commitment.

A: I think it's a tough look to pull off and I'm probably about ten years too old for it. Still.

M: How old is Lanphear, though? I'm not saying you should do it, but I don't think you are too old!

A: I don't know. 30? 40? 20? There's no saying.

M: The correct answer is: Time as we know it doesn't apply to her.

A: Ugh, see?  I cannot begin to play her games because I don't even know her rules.

M: I think she is from the same galaxy as Cate Blanchett.

A: I want to live there. Can we live there? BECAUSE I WANT TO. REAL BAD.

M: I just want to breathe the air. Okay, and maybe get one bag.

A: Does it rain Birkins there? Also, I don't think Lanphear wears any makeup at all. And she looks flawless.

M: Well now I just hate her.


M: Smug bitch.


M: So undignified.

A: Hey, you don't see me badmouthing your Giovanna, do you?

M: Fine. She's perfect with her perfect skin and perfect hair and GOD I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE WEEPING.

A: See? See what happens when you scoff?


  1. "Time as we know it doesn't apply to her." SO TRUE!

    So many lol's in one post. Oh man you guys slay me. And I think Adrien could ROCK that hairdo but I also think it would be a styling commitment that I know I couldn't personally handle.

  2. Yeah Adrien! You totally could rock that do! Only one picture existed of me with that exact cut in high school and it went missing. It was black though. I absolutely loved it. It was the easiest cut to take care of, just had to trim the back a lot. With fierce hair like that, you can wear a potato sack and still look chic!

  3. Adrien, you would look great with that cut. I gave myself the same one in the 80s and I seriously had to do nothing to maintain it.