Friday, February 4, 2011

Taking down the SHobbit.

M: Oh man, Garance's latest post makes me know for sure that Sartorialhobbit is a total ASS. He told her not to get a long skirt because it made her look wider? Sheesh.

A: Rage!

M: YES

A: I fear backlash, but what's he gonna do, kick our kneecaps?

M: He might bite your ankles.

And then call you wide.

A: I'd kick him in the teeth but my feet don't go that low.

M: Maybe you can just use your big toe to step on his neck.

A: RAGE:

photo: Refinery29


A: It's like he's begging us to make fun of them.

M: Look how she has to hunch down to kiss him! I want to send The SHobbit's ex wife flowers or chocolates or something.

Pee Ess: Garance has amazing legs. Jesus H.

A: I just DON'T GET IT. And the nerve of that little troll telling her she's look wide if she wore a long skirt. She's positively lanky.

M: HE IS 3 FEET TALL. I think he is maybe the same size as Danny Devito.

A: But with less personality. I'd honestly rather date Devito.

M: Do you know how many results you get if you Google "Is Danny Devito a little person"? A LOT.

Danny Devito would never call you wide. And I bet he's a rather tender lover.

A: Um, yeah.

So, how many results if you Google "Is Scott Schuman a Hobbit?"

M: Hmph.

M: I am going to buy some of these commenters a drink:



A: This is my favorite comment from a blog:
She's quite pretty, but who's the hobbit on the space bike? Oh, wait! It's Sartorialist Scott Schuman. He is like sooo talented. And by "talented" I mean biggest no-talent closeted poof in history.

M: YES! Oh, these are our people.

A: We found them! We are not alone. Aw.

A: Oh my god, I toggled back to that Youtube video and he's STILL TALKING. Good lord.

M: I KNOW. God!

Let's not forget:

http://www.fashionologie.com/2911945

A: Oh SO HORRIFYING.

M: Right? That was when I started hating him. And when I started feeling like I could make a little fun of him, too.

A: Yep. When you do something like that, you're more or less proclaiming to the world "I'M A DOUCHEBAG!" I have no idea how he got someone as nice as Garance in his thrall, though. She seems sweet.

M: She really does. I like her but question her judgement. Maybe he is the Debil.

A: I'm convinced he's got her enchanted or something. Or maybe she's just not very smart? I don't know. We've all dated the wrong guy, I think.

M: MAGICK! Witchcraft and devilry!

A: He should have to walk around with a scarlet H on his shirt. Freaking Hobbit.

5 comments:

  1. omg so many lol's in this post for me. He really does seem like an insufferable Napoleonic megalomaniac windbag. And although she does seem nice, I can't help but think it was windbaggy of her to get with him while he was married...

    I feel about him and his ex wife the way I feel about Kelsey Grammar and Camille... like I feel bad for Camille but not SO bad because the reality is the ex wives are likely better off without these jerks.

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  2. BTW, him calling her "wide" in any context... like in an inflated garbage bag tunic even... makes me want to spit fire.

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  3. Insufferable Napoleonic megalomaniac windbag! Jess! You just nailed it so beautifully. I love it.

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  4. One comment in and I am DYING! Bwahahaha!

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  5. Haha, oh my gosh, you guys crack me up. He seems like a total asshat for sure. You guys skewered him well :)

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