Friday, February 18, 2011

A Very Acceptable Email About Fashion Topics.




M: WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? WHAT IS THAT.

A: I. What. Wait, is she. WHY.

M: So bad. So bad I can't even talk about it.

Wait, yes I can. Is that a matador outfit? Ole?

A: It's like she was all, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. YOU CAN NOT LOOK AT MY MAGNIFICENT BOOBS TONIGHT. LOOK AT MY TINY CAPE INSTEAD. AND MY ILL-FITTING PANTS.

M: The cape! The teeny, tiny cape. It's not even a capelet. It's a ca

That's it. Just ca

A: Yep, it's a ca if I've ever seen one. And can we talk about those horrible waist-thickening pants? She really doesn't want us to look at her any more at all.

M: Adrien, she is so pretty. SO pretty. Sometimes I think about turning gay when I watch Mad Men.

A: Oh, she is gloriously pretty! Ridiculously pretty. Which is why I'm even more confused by those TERRIBLE PANTS.

M: I am starting to think these pants are a code. Maybe she's being held captive by the Scientologists or something?

A: Oh GOD. You might be on to something. We need to help her. Perhaps her ca is secretly transmitting a distress signal?

M: If you listen carefully, you can hear her screaming.

A: ...help meeeeee...these pants are killing...my...everything....

M: Now I'm a little scared that the Scientologists are going to come for me. I am not kidding.

A: Do you know, I actually just had the same thought, like, maybe we don't want to poke that monster. Remember what happened with the jegging cowboy? The Scientogists are, like, a MILLION jegging cowboys.

M: OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE. Um, hail Zenu? Is that even right?

A: Hold on, there's someone at my front door.

M: Adrien, THEY ARE READING THE EMAI>436*!T)*$Y^_*W$Y^_(*YUWH*PIGDH?:

A: Hello. I am Back. It is Me, Adrienne.

M: Hello Adrienne, this is Mary Ann. I am glad we are companions.

A: I am enjoying writing this "blog" with you. It is very acceptable.

M: Indeed. Fashion is important to us.

A: I am wearing clothing. Perhaps I should photograph it so people may view it.

M: This is also acceptable.

A: Very well. Good bye Mary Ann.

M: Best regards, Adrienne.

6 comments:

  1. First of all, LOVE this post, very funny.

    Second of all, I cannot understand this outfit. Any of it. It's obviously some sort of joke. Right? Right? Those are the least flattering pants I've seen since parachute pants, but at least those were a fad at the time.

    Maybe they look good from the back?

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  2. ahahaha "a ca" slayed me.

    I love you two. And yes this outfit should be outlawed because it is a crime against all that is beautiful and womanly and hot.

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  3. If you squint your eyes a little the color combination and general "shape" looks rather lovely on her - at least in the sense that it's a welcome departure from her usual carnival-esque gigantic gowns she seems to always be wearing!

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  4. Oh, ladies. I didn't think anyone could top TLo's post about Satan's Pants (http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2011/02/in-or-out-christina-hendricks-in-serious-trouble-you-guys-2.html), but then you go and get yourselves kidnapped by the Scientologists. Love!

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