Friday, March 4, 2011

Punchline: I don't have a will.


M: Does she have a shirt on? Does she think she is maybe Iman? Because Iman will CUT YOU.

A: I...don't think so, no. No shirt. And yeah, even David Bowie is a little scared of Iman. And he's DAVID BOWIE.

M: Oh, David Bowie puts cream in Iman's coffee for her. How do I know this? I ONCE SERVED THEM BREAKFAST THAT'S HOW. He's totes scared.

A: GOD. That just makes me insane. I'm sorry he's a bad tipper, but maybe it's because Iman won't let him?

M: She probably feels that we should tip her, just for getting to breathe her air. And I'm not saying that is a bad thing.

A: I don't think that's unreasonable. I mean, she is not of this earth and we need to show respect.

M: Which is exactly why that redhead (is that Maggie Rizer?) should know better. She better check herself with this Nubian Queen act.

A: Oh, that is Maggie Rizer! What is she thinking? Oh, and I see a little wisp of...something under that blazer, so I don't have to call her mom after all.

M: I know sometimes fashion is beyond me, but I don't get this at all. I feel like I need a PowerPoint presentation.

(I am not funny today)

A: (I'm struggling too, but we can make this work!)

M: (my teeth hurt and my jeans are too tight)

A: I often feel like someone's grandma when I see stuff like this. I do like her sunglasses and her bag. And that blazer, but I'd maybe wear, you know, SOMETHING under it.

(my head is still filled with mucus)

M: I like the sunglasses and the bag but I'm not digging the blazer. Is she Crockett or Stubbs?

(my hair is somehow both flat and frizzy)

A: I don't know, it's nicely cut. And I like her bracelets, which I only just noticed. I WONDER WHY.

(My hair is so flat. Like it's disappointed in me.)

M: I can't get on board with a white blazer. Which means I will desperately want one next year.

(I think your hair is disappointed in me too!)

A: Oh, we both will. It's like that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Miranda Priestley explains the Trickle Down Theory of Fashion.

(No baby! My hair loves you like a puppy dog.)

M: I am such a fashion peon.

(My hair is bereft.)

A: We both wear the sad blue Gap sweater today.

(My hair has soft velvety beagle ears for you.)

M: I mean, I just got on board with jeggings and now everyone is wearing bell bottoms. Sads.

(I'm not even sure what that means, but I'll take it.)

A: I can NOT green light this bell bottom thing. It's moving too fast! I need to sit down.

(Blame the NyQuil, dude. I have no idea.)

M: I am with you! Which means Fall of 2012, bell bottoms here we come.

A: Yay! Hopefully I'll be ready by then. Or dead.

M: I really hope you aren't dead.

A: But if I am, DO NOT bury me with bell bottoms. Promise.

M: Never! I cannot say that I won't steal all of your bags, though. I am not made of stone.

A: I'll leave them to you in my will.

M: Deal.


  1. Okay Marianne, where on earth did you work where you could serve Olympia Dukakis, Tom Brokaw, Iman and David Bowie?

  2. Ha! A neighborhood breakfast/lunch place on the corner of Bleeker and Lafayette called The Noho Star. It was very good and unassuming and a laundry list of random celebs eat there frequently.

  3. I don't think it's Maggie - isn't it Taylor Tomasi Hill?

  4. Oh damn, I think you're right about that.

  5. I had hoped it was an orange shirt under there... but that would mean the shirt would have freckles if you looked closely. It must be an "I spilled a martini on my shirt last night so this is all I have" walk of shame outfit.

  6. I love Iman. I love this blog.

    Adrien, is that you?


  7. Youngprof! It is Adrien and it is me (sailor).

  8. Hi, Youngprof! How the hell are you?

  9. Ha! You two have a blog! I have bookmarked it and will be cyberstalking you in the future, so be warned. I've already noted a gorgeous plum Marc Jacobs bag in a picture of Adrien, so I'm a happy camper.

    Am good, am busy and crazy as usual.