Monday, June 13, 2011

A Cry For Help.

M: Sure, Garance might say she wants to die when the SHobbit touches her unshaven legs:

"Yeah except for the times when I don’t have time to do it and Scott runs his hand up my leg and I just want to die right then and there, but other than that it’s great."

But I think the host is starting to reject the parasite.

A: Her skin crawls at his touch! She needs that leg hair to survive.

M: I think she's just tired of always having to stand on a lower step:

A: She has Katie Holmes Syndrome.



M: He is like a real miniature person!

M: I apologize in advance for the puking-in-the-mouth that is going to happen when you real this.

"I'm pretty good at the sex. And pretty good at picture taking. That's about it."

A: I thought we were friends.

M: I have a syndrome that requires me to send you these things.

A: The I Hate Adrien Syndrome? There's a cure for that.

M: Enlighten me, please.


M: Cappie! Oh Cappie, my new favorite. I am cured! Let's get down to brass tacks here, I'm taking bets on whether or not he made her take off her shoes here. I am thinking yes:

A: She's slouching all Holmes-style. Really my issue isn't that he's a Hobbit, my issue is that he's a condescending douche.

M: I have zero issues with short people, and I am taller than my husband when I wear big heels. But he is such an ass.

A: I think it bugs the ever-living crap out of him that she's so tall.

A: What.

"Look how beautiful she is," declares Schuman, 41, "how could I not like her blog? When I first got to know her I thought maybe it was French funny as opposed to real funny, but I could tell from the number of responses her posts received that she was a great communicator."

Who says stuff like that?

M: GOD. Seriously? Once he saw that her blog had a lot of traffic, he decided she was acceptable? Keep on keeping on, SHobbit.

"I'd like to convince Garance to become my wife," says Schuman.
Doré sighs: "Oh baby, that's so cute."

NOTICE that she doesn't say yes. I am telling you, she's turning on him.


A: Keep fighting the good fight, Garance.


  1. "I'm pretty good at the sex" THE SEX?!?!! Is English not his first language? WTH?

  2. If loving you guys is wrong, I don't ever wanna be right ...

    Meanwhile, THIS is a wonderful waste of time, and such happiness within ... "The 90s called ... and even THEY can't believe someone is still selling this shit."

  3. why does he look so stern/angry always? you guys crack me up...

  4. Probably because we keep making fun of him.

  5. In my dreams, that is the reason.