Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Return of Tiny Monk Hands



M: I need you to find me some good eye cream options because I keep looking at this and need to be stopped:



A: If you buy that Goop crap I will be really mad at you. You read the interview about luring out parasites with milk, right? You definitely have a parasite and they love milk!

M: FIND ME SOMETHING BETTER. I HATE HER BUT HER UNDER EYES LOOK PRETTY GOOD OKAY.

A: THAT IS GENETICS HAVE YOU SEEN HER MOTHER.

M: I wonder what eye cream Blythe Danner uses...

A: OMG. I mean, I use some crap from Target because I get all overwhelmed by choice.

M: ...

A: Fine. This one has peat in it and the word "miracle." Miracle dirt! For your eyes!

A: Also! Your monk creme has an eye version but it's so stupidly expensive that I'm mad at it.


M: I finished the monk creme and my skin hates me and I hate everything including monks maybe most of all.

A: Now I'm afraid to recommend anything because I don't want your skin to hate me.

M: My eyessssssssss heeeeeellllllllllppppppp meeeeeeee Gooooooooooppppppp

A: Shit, the bossy British lady loves it.

M: OH WELL.

A: BUT, I question lemon juice as the second ingredient. What even.

M: Now I'm looking at this.

M: But now this oh help.



A: I would always try the less expensive option first, but the Tata Harper stuff looks really nice.

M: What I will do is continue to just smear my non-monk inferior face moisturizer under my eyes and lament how they look like a crone's.

A: Hey, that's what I do. I think a better use of your funds would be to hire a tiny-handed monk to pat-pat-pat it under your eyes.

M: Pat pat go the monk hands.

A: 

5 comments:

  1. I got a big sample of La Mer's eye cream with a Nordstrom purchase over Xmas, and it was GUD. Also, $200, so I won't be purchasing. http://www.cremedelamer.com/product/9087/13071/eye-treatments/the-eye-balm-intense/visibly-reduces-puffiness

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just bought this, which is relatively inexpensive and doesn't irritate my eyes, which are super sensitive all of the sudden. https://dermae.com/collections/eye-creams/products/firming-dmae-eye-lift

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm currently obsessed with the Mizon Snail Goo line. Doesn't irritate my (super sensitive) skin and I love the undereye cream too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Use the regular Belif eye cream. It's great.


    http://www.belifcosmetic.com/english/product/detail.jsp?cid1=B&cid2=1&pid=ACM04897

    ReplyDelete
  5. Two recommendations - L'ancome Progres eye cream - freaking awesome and I've used it for decades. You have to like a very rich cream though, and I do. However, I recently tried MUAC's eye cream and although it doesn't feel quite as emollient when I'm applying it, it works just as well and is half the price. You can get a sample for $7. http://www.makeupartistschoice.com/Transforming-Anti-Aging-Eye-Repair--LOADED-with-multi-actives_p_189.html

    ReplyDelete