Wednesday, May 3, 2017

We Discuss Boobs and Birkenstocks.

A: They're heeeerrre

M: 😍

M: Want

M: I am actually thinking about painting the buckles of my blue ones gold now.

A: I LOVE THEM SO HARD. Soft footbed is rull nice.

M: Yesss

A: I maybe could’ve gone with narrow, but I think they fit the way they're supposed to.

M: They look like they fit.

M: Mine are a touch wide too but it works.

A: They fit, it's just a lot ‘o sandal.

M: Aggressive German comfort.

A: Exactly!

M: 🇩🇪

A: Thank you, Germany.

A: Also, everything I ordered from Old Navy is total garbage and it’s all getting returned.

M: Yeah a friend of mine just got a bunch of Old Navy stuff and said not one thing was good.

A: Just thin and flimsy and ill-fitting.  I don't know why I'm even remotely surprised.

M: It's an off year for them. And weirdly an on year for Gap.

A: I'm wearing my blue Gap blouse today. Pretty sure everyone can see my boobs.

M: Eh, it's Friday. Have some boobs.

A: They ain't bad, really.

M: Boobs!


M: I wish Madewell did birthday discounts.

A: Madewell does do a birthday thing. Are you an Insider? They sent me a $25 GC.

M: Aha I AM an insider! I want that! My birthday is in 10 days, give it up Madewell.

A: Whatchoo want from Madewell?

M: I want a nice straw hat. All of mine are made of paper?

M: I also need new denim shorts because mine are disintegrating:

M: And well this, because you know:

A: Those shorts! So perfect. And the dress. So striped.

M: My favorite Pilcro shorts are seriously going to dissolve or something. It's precarious. Those look distressed but a little more sturdy.

A: I wore my favorite Old Navy shorts over the weekend and they are disintegrating rapidly. They're also shorter than I remember them being last summer.

M: Dammit, clothes.

A: I know. Always clothes.

M: Do I need that striped Madewell dress? Probably not right? It's probably going to be an unflattering sack.

M: They sent me my $25 off.

A: I just looked at all the pics - def a sack.

M: Shorts and hat ordered!

A: I'm super invested in the Madewell shorts.

M: I hope they are good.

A: I feel like a SWF jerk wanting to buy everything you like but I neeeeeed cutoff shorts.

M: Haha it's okay!

A: At least we don't live in the same town, I guess.

M: It's really fine.

A: Kate and I often end up dressed alike. She just bought black Gizehs at my urging.

M: I totally want your Arizonas.

A: SO OBSESSED with them. It's contrary and makes no sense.

M: I’m a hoarder who shops too much.

A: Heeee, dang.

M: I love your girls and want some!

A: They are the best. Still breaking them in.

M: Girls = Birks

A: You can't have my boobs.

M: Boobs!


  1. You're so right - every current dress from Old Navy is crap!! I ordered 8 dresses thinking that at least half would be good Summer staples. Nope. They're all going back.

    1. So disappointing, right? I can usually count on ON for a few good summer dresses.

  2. Birkenstocks remind me of the tale of the Emperor who wore no clothes. I know that they are on trend, and no doubt comfy, but am I really the only one that thinks they are super fug?


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