Wednesday, May 10, 2017

We Discuss Real Estate.

M: For YOU.

A: What's with the Canadian bungalow.

M: Did you look.

M: I’ll wait.



A: OH HOLY FUCK.

M: 😬😬😬

A: I hadn't flipped through enough photos!

M: Yeah they were banking on that.

M: Look at that manicured yard. Nothing to see here.

A: EVEN THE KITCHEN.

M: HA

M: 🤡🤡🤡

A: EVERY GD ROOM.

M: Clownssssss

A: It's so deeply messed up.

M: It's so great.

A: I imagine the realtor all, "So. Uh. Can we...simplify?"

M: You know they cleared some things out. That's the best part.

A: Oh man, they totes did.

A: Three views from the front porch!

M: Lookit that yard!

A: So much parking! Here's another photo of the paved driveway.

M: Such lovely brick.

A: Lurking life-size clown in the dining room. NBD.

M: Shhhhhhhh he's resting.

A: There is literally a clown wallpaper border in the master bedroom.

M: There's clowns on clowns on clowns.

M: Hidden clowns.

A: No room unscathed.

M: Except the garage. That's for tools.

A: You know Mr. Clown House goes in there to cry when he can't take it.

M: Poor guy.

A: It's real bad in there.

M: This is a clown free zone. THIS IS MY SPACE DONNA.

A: You know she's tried to sneak a few in there.

M: I SAID NO CLOWNS. DR. THOMAS SAID I SHOULD HAVE ONE CLOWN FREE SPACE.

A: But...it's so PLAIN in there!

M: I swear to fuck Donna is that a clown behind your back.

A: I'M RUNNING OUT OF SPACE, HAROLD.

M: Maybe you should say goodbye to the life sized freak show in our dining room DONNA. I haven't had a solid bowel movement in months thanks to that thing.

A: You said you liked Jingles!

M: WE AGREED WE WOULDN'T NAME IT. I'M CALLING DR. THOMAS.

A: You're over-reacting. Come see what I found at the flea market today!

M: Ooh, whadja get?

A: 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

M: GOD DAMMIT DONNA.

12 comments:

  1. This.made.my.whole.day.better. I'm literally cry laughing.

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  2. You guys...what if the tools BELONG TO THE CLOWNS.

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  3. I feel like I'm being punked when I look at that listing. It can't be real!!?? That house is effing terrifying!

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  4. It looks like a regular house from the front....and a clown nightmare inside!!!!

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  5. Thank you for this. It made my craptastic day much better.

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  6. You guys crack me up so much.

    There's a kids' room, right? Some kid had to live and sleep in there, and bring friends home (or not).

    Modern Family needs to shoot an episode here.

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  7. I've been condo shopping so I've seen some scary places online - but this takes the clown cake. Jeepers.

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  8. This house is a metaphor for my crazy sister-in-law. Looks normal on the outside...

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  9. That house is in my home town! Apparently, the back story is that the husband had a drinking problem, and to combat the urge to buy a drink, he'd substitute buying some kind of clown thing...does that make it weirder??

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