Wednesday, August 10, 2011

But I DO hate her.





A: A 14-year-old intern. At Marc Jacobs. How does that HAPPEN.

M: If it makes you feel any better, I am pretty sure she is wearing a diaper cover.

A: Actually, the, um, bloomers don't bother me so much. What bothers me is that she's AN INTERN AT MARC JACOBS.

M: Adrien, I am sure she is HIGHLY qualified.

A: Wait, okay, I am sure you're right. Here are my qualifications at the age of 14:

1. Duran Duran lyrics
2.

M: I was valedictorian of Poison and Jon Bon Jovi? Oh, and I interned at Drawing Pictures of Horses.

A: Oh! I graduated Magna Cum Laude in Horse Drawings. And I saw Stand By Me in the theater four times. AND, I can quote Ferris Bueller start to finish. Suck on that, Intern Girl With Your Cute Pink Marc Jacobs Bag That You Got For Free.

M: I am pretty sure you were just named as Galliano's replacement with those qualifications, missy! Don't forget your Doctorate in Fashion Math.

A: I am freaking awesome at Fashion Math. I don't even use my fingers.

M: Damn girl. I totally cheat and load the theorems onto my TI86. Is that what the stupid graphing calculator is called? I failed real math.

A: Theorems? Graphing...calculator?

M: Just talking about real math has given me a case of the vapors. Quick, revive me with the scent of something expensive and useless!

A: *waves Hermès candle under Marianne's nose*

M: Wha? Where am I? Do I smell a Birkin?

A: Oh, wake up. We aren't Hermès interns. Or 14 anymore.

M: Wonderkiller.

A: Would you like a juice glass of boxed wine?

M: Sniff. Thank you.

7 comments:

  1. Haha. Looks like someone's aunt or mom or whatever knows someone who knows someone. That's how these teenage internships always work.

    Doesn't make me hate her less. Probably more.

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  2. oh man. i've seen those bloomers all over pinterest, and now you're telling me she's a 14-year-old intern? i could quote "clueless" start to finish when i was 14 ... and that was about it.

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  3. When I was 14 I would have loved this job and felt completely qualified... but I thought high fashion was drawing on my acid-washed denim jacket with markers and loved Patrick Kelly's tube dresses covered with buttons and bows. Oh and I wrote a letter to Madonna around this time informing her that we probably would be great friends if we met.

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  4. What can I say that you guys & the commenters haven't already?

    O THE HATE IT BURRRRRNNNNS

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  5. You ladies crack me up-- I just discovered your blog last week, and I"m now a daily reader. Also, love your personal outfit updates. Susan in Wash, DC

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  6. Shit like this makes me want to quit blogging... for reals. I mean my blog is about 1/3 of her age. WTF.

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  7. You guys are suck jerks! I know this girls and she is very qualified! Just because you are jealous that she has the internship does not give you the right to make fun of her! You are absolutely pathetic! She is making something of her life unlike you! GET A LIFE!

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