Wednesday, August 10, 2011

But I DO hate her.





A: A 14-year-old intern. At Marc Jacobs. How does that HAPPEN.

M: If it makes you feel any better, I am pretty sure she is wearing a diaper cover.

A: Actually, the, um, bloomers don't bother me so much. What bothers me is that she's AN INTERN AT MARC JACOBS.

M: Adrien, I am sure she is HIGHLY qualified.

A: Wait, okay, I am sure you're right. Here are my qualifications at the age of 14:

1. Duran Duran lyrics
2.

M: I was valedictorian of Poison and Jon Bon Jovi? Oh, and I interned at Drawing Pictures of Horses.

A: Oh! I graduated Magna Cum Laude in Horse Drawings. And I saw Stand By Me in the theater four times. AND, I can quote Ferris Bueller start to finish. Suck on that, Intern Girl With Your Cute Pink Marc Jacobs Bag That You Got For Free.

M: I am pretty sure you were just named as Galliano's replacement with those qualifications, missy! Don't forget your Doctorate in Fashion Math.

A: I am freaking awesome at Fashion Math. I don't even use my fingers.

M: Damn girl. I totally cheat and load the theorems onto my TI86. Is that what the stupid graphing calculator is called? I failed real math.

A: Theorems? Graphing...calculator?

M: Just talking about real math has given me a case of the vapors. Quick, revive me with the scent of something expensive and useless!

A: *waves Hermès candle under Marianne's nose*

M: Wha? Where am I? Do I smell a Birkin?

A: Oh, wake up. We aren't Hermès interns. Or 14 anymore.

M: Wonderkiller.

A: Would you like a juice glass of boxed wine?

M: Sniff. Thank you.

6 comments:

  1. Haha. Looks like someone's aunt or mom or whatever knows someone who knows someone. That's how these teenage internships always work.

    Doesn't make me hate her less. Probably more.

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  2. oh man. i've seen those bloomers all over pinterest, and now you're telling me she's a 14-year-old intern? i could quote "clueless" start to finish when i was 14 ... and that was about it.

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  3. When I was 14 I would have loved this job and felt completely qualified... but I thought high fashion was drawing on my acid-washed denim jacket with markers and loved Patrick Kelly's tube dresses covered with buttons and bows. Oh and I wrote a letter to Madonna around this time informing her that we probably would be great friends if we met.

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  4. What can I say that you guys & the commenters haven't already?

    O THE HATE IT BURRRRRNNNNS

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  5. You ladies crack me up-- I just discovered your blog last week, and I"m now a daily reader. Also, love your personal outfit updates. Susan in Wash, DC

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  6. Shit like this makes me want to quit blogging... for reals. I mean my blog is about 1/3 of her age. WTF.

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