Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Pouty Goth Hotness. (Not really.)

A: A candidate for Hot Hotness?


M: Adrien, I am at the orthodontist and you just made me snort unattractively.

A: Um, but he's wearing a harness.

M: There is no way he has sex without crying.

A: He's so POUTY.

M: I think his lipstick just gave me cancer.

A: Do you think the harness is the Pouty Goth necktie? Kids today.

M: He is trying so hard, Adrien. He just wants you to know his PAIN.

A: The shorts suit is very...Cheap Trick, the facial expression very Twilight. The lipstick very Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I'm so confused.

M: He is like Alfalfa, grown up and with a child actor complex. Wait. ALFALFA, IS THAT YOU?


M: It's a total cry for help.

A: Should I feel bad for him? Because I really don't. Mostly I just want to clean his face with a linty Kleenex I found in the bottom of my purse.

M: Oh hell no. And I'd like to see you go after him with a little spit shine.

A: Oh yeah, I spat on that Kleenex.

M: I can't end this on Alfalfa:


M: Damien Lewis, also known as Your New Boyfriend. I got him for you.

A: But...but...your birthday is coming up, not mine! But thank you I'll take him and aren't you THOUGHTFUL.

M: I know, I give and I give.

A: I'm a good taker, I think. Yeah.

M: I REALLY like Damian Lewis and wonder where he has been all my life.

A: Well, you know I like a redhead.

M: I found him by searching "hot redheads"

A: I just snort-laughed.

M: Well, "red-headed men" just got me Carrot Top. I still haven't recovered.

A: Oh, dude.


  1. Adrien! How could you have missed Damian Lewis?! "Band of Brothers"? NBC's "Life"? j/k, I never watched those things either, but my husband has a man-crush on DL and sees practically everything he's in, so I am very aware of him. He does an excellent American accent but is not American. Yum.

  2. omg, you're convo posts always make me snort and laugh simultaneously. usually in public.

    pure MAGIC the two of you have :)

  3. M: There is no way he has sex without crying.


  4. Damian Lewis for hot hotness. all the way. mmmmmmm.

    I saw him once shopping in a department store in London. He was with his lovely wife and carrying his baby. I followed at a discreet distance, dribbling. was that wrong?

  5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this was hilarious. "M: There is no way he has sex without crying."-dying.