source: The Sartorialist
M: Adrien, be nice to my new boyfriend. He's very sensitive.
A: Right, but he's wearing your Cropped Boyfriend Chinos. The name is confusing him.
M: Wearing my clothes helps him feel closer to me. At least that's what he tells me when I catch him wearing my underwear.
A: What did he tell you when you caught him with that bowl on his head? You could've stopped that haircut, dude.
M: I don't want to make him cry again. God, with the crying.
A: Maybe he's crying because you let him go out of the house like that?
M: I couldn't wait for him to leave. It gives me a chance to pack. Did I mention the crying?
A: So, what does he have in that briefcase? Not briefs, I'm guessing.
A: Oh, does he have a play date with the rest of the Little Rascals?
M: He and Harness Goth have challenged Anna Della Russo to a game of Stickball.
A: Are they going to use a Birkin instead of a ball?
A: OH COME ON THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
M: Sorry, I have fallen into a luxury sporting goods wormhole.
A: How filthy rich do you have to be to even consider Chanel tennis balls a good purchase?
M: God, I don't know. I picture P. Diddy throwing them to his dogs or something.
A: Oh. Wow. Yeah. Crying.
M: Which leads me to this:
Which makes me need to go lie down for a nice long rest. FOREVER.
A: I think we need to break up.
M: I'm sorry.
A: Please leave.